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Eyes Closed

Sunset chances romance

azure risen essence light

giving way,
to slow deep caress
melodies whisper

Sealed visions allow
sensual sounds overcome


Come closer,
my cravings take over
hands fondle dark sable hair

dedicating my kiss
 to thieve your breath

I won't say no to you

trembling beneath devotion
my heart pulsates lightning

  should I let you,

conquer my soul's fear


enlighten me with
precious words,
 a drifting release
between two

 deliver seductive dreams,
athrist now, enkindled~
completely oblivious
in your inviting sentiment

tasting full lover's lips

gravity pull, 
to hearts cry

needful of your fired tempering


beckoning pleasures
let this nightfall,

seal our wanting promise

I won't say no to you

 

 

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • SteveS gold member
    October 20

    Edit | Reply
    Ooo, smooth and inviting. The last line for me is killer...how many guys would pay dearly to know that a woman's inner thought is that she wouldn't say no. Very enjoyable write.


  • Dalaney gold member
    September 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It is good to read you. I, too, love to write sensual poetry. This is soft-flowing, dreamy, a true pleasure to read. Love, Lane


  • mysticstorm gold member
    September 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    So beautifully romantic...soft sensual flow with lovely use of repetition...it's love grand?
    Well done write.
    mystic


  • Age of Rain
    September 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Sensual and appealing. This is a wonderful story of love and its resonance. Your repetition was well done and added impact to the end. Excellent work!

  • silverfish
    September 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    that's a pretty good poem what makes me feel like i'm a voyuer landing wide eyed in a scene of private intimacy between you and that guy with hair on his face. -awshucksphish


  • theburninglegend silver member
    September 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Absolutely beautiful language penned here, great tone and it flows with wind soft, very sensual, and loving, Good luck in the contest and hope and wish you the best

    so how have you been anyways, how is pops? hope all is good

    ***Hugs***
    thelegend


  • echo-ink
    September 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Lovely and beautiful,

    This was just wonderful, Very sensual and such truest love comes through this. Be very proud.


  • wildfiredreamer
    September 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    very sensual

    reminds me of a lover freely giving their self to the other. closing their eyes so nothing distracts as they let all the feelings and emotions take over their being.

    great job


  • Wandering Woodchuck silver member
    September 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is very nicely done. It is the type of senusual love poem that we should see more of on here. I enjoyed it.

    Great job.

    Mike


  • Topaze gold member
    September 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a lovely piece, truly well written, I like the mind behind this. Sensual stirring of words, repetitive line "I won't say no to you" , love it. My best wishes always.


  • cricketjeff gold member
    September 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A tenderly sensual piece, flows nicely throughout. The repetition works well and the whole poem is softly seductive. Good Stuff


  • Arkbear gold member
    September 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Gosh....not critque?

     

     

    Cap your ( i ) ...L 16 ~

     

    Do not use common speech....*my heart beats like wildfire*

     

    Absolutely beautiful language penned here.....the Tone is superb....and the Flow is sensual and loving.....a splendid poetic voice captured here........the best to you and your entry,

     

    ...God bless you,

     

    Bear ~


  • lowercase prelude gold member
    September 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh gosh, this is remarkable! Poetically amazing

    Your word choice is the base for your imagery and emotions - and they were penned well


  • albymyheart gold member
    September 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh Wow! This was so sensual and inviting. The repetition of "I won't say no to you" keeps the reader on the edge to imagine that moment when we go beyond that line of text. A great take on the pic too. Your words are all very sensitive, loving and very well chosen. I liked this alot and you should be proud of such a beautiful write. Thank you for showing me this...alby


  • Rend the Veil gold member
    September 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful Piece

    That was beautifully writen, and full of loves promise

    like on a wedding night when lovers love

    speak to me with
    precious words,
     a drifting release
    between two,

    That is lovers loving!

    I really enjoy your work very well written, the way your words just flow

    from a heart that is loved and taken care of

    Thank you

    For Sharing

    Rend

  • Bob Fox
    September 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Passion

    Passion unveiled in such a beautiful way. To know.. She will not say no .. and then to be loved. Just beautiful. Beautiful dear poet.


  • poeticweaver gold member
    September 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Nice,

    You have shared here a very descriptive piece that allows the reader to feel your words, and see what it is your heartbeat is singing. I like this alot, and the imagery is done well, and worded nicely. I won't say no to you. As you continue after expressing how the other makes you feel. Great job, and keep up the wonderful works! Write on!

    -Timothy aka poeticweaver~


  • tomisb
    September 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Get rid of the elipse in the last line. Too much emphasis. Makes it feel melodramatic. Sometimes you must trust your reader.

    Eyes closed is better than sealed vision. Honest

    Don't need the comma in the last line of the third verse. Not grammatically correct.

    These are all minor corrections, mostly editorial nit pickling. Important but not crucial. Other wise you have a splendid cascade of sensual surrender. You sexy woman, you.
    Love,
    Tom B.


  • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
    September 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is passionate.



  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    September 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW.. This is absolutely beautiful. I love it so much.. I'm in awe... pardon me if I just keep saying WOW!! alright..this poem is very sensual, so much love flows through out it. A poem that's truly written from your heart. I do so love reading your work.

    good luck in the contest my guardian angel

    kat

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