Remorseless fingers carve lingering lies,
as you vandalize my faith with your lips
Friendship’s are seen through sacrificial eyes,
my soul dies slow in fate’s total eclipse
I’ve shown myself humble to your life’s plight,
you took the blood from my old crusted veins
Claim my brain emotionally of right,
just a man insane from your heart so vain
Infested thoughts from spiral shaped smoke clouds,
doing damage to others and yourself
Let the proud remains drift upon large crowds,
maybe you’ll gain some fame from lack of wealth
Irate as pupils dilate fed by hate,
As you inflict to prevail my heartbreak.
Need Some Love
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Wow now thats a very emotive well descript piece that tugs damned hard....Love it-Well done!
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Excellent
Such an amazing write. So very well crafted. Very detail and powerful. Best of luck in the contest.
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An Amazing Piece,
You have a way about you..the indepth of your words flows with passion and truth. I feel each line penned with sorrow. This world is not easy, and when others hurt souls such as yourself, the balance shifts to sorrow's winds. I hope you can find some peace within. You sure can write, and your words are hard hitters. Congrates for having such talent.
Cradle2TheGrave.
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Good
This poem was entertaining and three dimensional in character. Good imagery and flow are both presented within these lines. This poem was a pleasure to read and review. It holds an emotion and releases it in the reading.
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you sure know how to write to pull out all our heart-
strings..and tenderly weep with you.
Does love manicure the heart?
i think it does
mightily!
always a pleasure reading your poetry!
ears/Seattle
High Five-big hug,
sometimes it does feel like,
our list of bullshit...
is longer then our blessings.
thank goodness we have your voice
to gentle pull us through!
ears/Seattle
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very sad and beautiful
im realy luving the last line
very nicly done -
yeah, that's just about how I've seen it work. love is a dead end one way street, by the time you get all the way in, you look back and wonder... "how the hell did you even get here".
Purgatory only exists for those who follow its metaphysical rules... like paying taxes if you're not sovereign.
we may be weakened by way of the heart, but we're stronger than most for surviving our own plights.
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Well done sir
Shreaded by love, left broken and alone your sadness drips from your words. Great job, Boog
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This is great. It reflects my feelings exactly "doing damage to others and yourself" ... irate as pupils dilate
yep, sounds like me. Filled with anger and no means of relief. Thank you for entering -
great flow and rhyme to this very sad write...love makes you do the wacky..
Irate as pupils dilate fed by hate,
As you inflict to prevail my heartbreak.
those feelings don't just go away..no matter how you are treated..
I’ve shown myself humble to your life’s plight,
you took the blood from my old crusted veins
Claim my brain emotionally of right,
just a man insane from your heart so vain
this explains so much so well..thanx so much for sharing and best of luck in the contest..blessings..namaste..
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Great
It's such a wonderful poem, with amazing vocabulary used. I love the imagry used. Splendid job!
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good luck in contest kind one
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i really like this poem and the wonderful depth you have used in here with the spiral smoke clouds and the great word choice as always, i like the flow this poem has and it speaks loudly, good luck in the contest and as always keep up the writing, ~Amy
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A sonnet of such sadness. The tears welled up with this line 'my soul dies slow in fate’s total eclipse'
Wonderful language you have used to create such grieving imagery in this piece.
All the best in the contest.
Gaylene
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Fantabulous!
I really liked how this poem came across! Very poerfully executed! Great rhyming in odd places!
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Strong emotion conveyed through powerful images and word use. Very effective and memorable!
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This is a well done sonnet. Good luck in the contest!
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My heart weeps .....loudly
My soul keeps .....you proudly
As evilness sleeps .....I shall hold you close to me
As their venom seeps .....I shall swallow it completely
I shall die a morbid death
....if neccessary
To set your pain free....
I love you.... nothing else to me... matters
Love Tory
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