What's in a Name?

Names. Most people have names.
I bet almost everyone known
To yourself in your brains
Has a name of their very own.

I realize it's common,
Even a quite popular trend,
To have something to call yourself
Time once and time again.

But that doesn't excuse
The lengths to which some do take it.
Names aren't to be abused!
Mine's not great, but it's decent!

Parents should consider
Just what their children might go through
If they name them something awful
Like that one boy named Sue.

Then there are those names which
To begin with, are nice and fine.
They lay them on a surface,
Pull the lever and slip in the dime.

Split! Slice! Scramble around!
Mince! Dice! Take the name and go to town!
Add e! Take off the t!
Reverse the letters! I agree!

So something truly sound,
Like Sarah or like Robin,
Is suddenly unrecognized
As Cerra and Robynne.

Jane is Jayn, then Aymie?
Nicholas becomes Nikalus?!
These names you have chosen...
Are you really for serious??

I won't enter detail
The sad but true stories you hear:
Lester Chester Hester;
He had no chance--poor dear.

Then there are times iffy
When on paper you cannot tell
That Kim is the fella
And good ol' Shawn is a gal.

(I really don't like that,
They go and spell it all wrong too!
I wouldn't do that to a kid,
Even if I were you.)

So please take a moment
The next time you're feeling witty,
And remember to make
A kinder fate for your bitty.
 
 
~From the Adventures of Sean G. Mawry~