Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Exquisite Hurt

I tried to hurt myself again
If only just to feel
Nothing ventured can be gained
If love is nothing, then what is real?
A knife wound that cuts so deep
Brings back a familiar pain
When I gave my heart for free
I was caught out with no escape

Now look at what I am
A fool without any pride
Everyone should know
When you love you die a little inside
So I will give it all
This world of love and grief
And you can take your turn
Because with love there is no peace

I'll wear this thorny crown
As a tribute to this love
My thoughts filled with despair
That I can't rise above
Beneath this heavy load
That I must always bear
I can feel myself disappear
As if I was never here

Now look at what I am
A fool without any pride
Everyone should know
When you love you die a little inside
So I will give it all
This world of love and grief
And you can take your turn
Because with love there is no peace

And if I could have my way
I wouldn't change a thing
I am right in synch
With love and all the pain it brings...

Author notes

~~"Love is a sweet tyranny, because the lover endureth his torments willingly." ~Proverb

AP Name: d s t r e e t p o e t

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Lady Juliet
    October 22

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, I really love this. The rhyme is amazing, choppy in a few places, but overall brilliantly written. I feel your words of sorrow, of hate, of despair, and I can see how you did not copy the quote, but you told me with your words, with your feelings.
    Thank you for entering my contest, and I wish you the best of luck.

    -leah anneliese


  • malmadre gold member
    July 18

    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on the gold! for a poem that fits so well with the angst that Johnny Cash must have dealt with for most of his life.


  • TwiztidMaggot
    July 2

    Edit | Reply
    This is very good. I like how you wrote it, kind of reminded me of the song Hurt. YOu did an amazing job, thank you so very much for your entry. Keep up your amazing work, and I wish you the best of luck.

    TwiztidMaggot


  • Heva Feva
    June 5
    Edit | Reply
    Good luck and thanks for entering my contest.
    -heva


  • xXGoddessofPainXx
    April 22

    Edit | Reply
    This is a really nice piece I truly enjoyed it a lot. I think it's really well written thank you for sharing.. Good luck


  • Reanna Eryn
    March 24
    Edit | Reply
    Love this, lovely!


  • YesterdaysDreams
    February 17

    Edit | Reply
    I loved this it had wonderful meter and rhyme it made me think of the song Hurt straight away, though it did not take away from the writing. This has a very strong sense of melody and lyrical style which I am quite fond of... if I can hear a song, recall a poem, story, quote or feel a strong emotion I feel the writer has done a fantastic job. Kudos


  • starving4perfection
    February 4

    Edit | Reply
    okay well first i loved it! second it was amazing! and third your defo a fave!
    "And if I could have my way
    I wouldn't change a thing
    I am right in synch
    With love and all the pain it brings..."
    true honesty flows from these words! thank you for such a brilliant entry and good luck!


  • ShiningNShadows
    December 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I really liked that. I love your outlook on this. Great job. Good luck in my contest!


  • Zombie Bad Boy gold member
    October 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Friggen Amazing.


  • fairytalelovestory
    October 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    ty & gl


  • Silver Asylum
    September 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Tragically Beautiful

    I found this so beautiful. A very good take on the song. It also was very emotional, and that was a good thing My only critique is that I would've like to have seen punctuation used, it usually makes the emotion that you're trying to portray deeper and clearer. Otherwise though, I really did like this (especially the last two lines of stanza 1). Great write and good luck
    ~*~Zenity

    ***


  • Silly Rabbit.
    September 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a powerful and heartfelt write... The emotion seeps from the words and into the reader's heart... You did an excellent job.

    Thanks for sharing and keep it up.

    [[♥]]


  • Blue Rew silver member
    August 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Apt response to the quote chosen. I felt the
    repetition was sublime and elevated the write.
    Only thing I would mention is :
    "I'm right out of my depth" seems to be the
    opposite of what the surrounding words portray.
    "I'm well within my depths" or words to that
    affect seem to fit. Blue

1 - 14 of 14