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Psychedelic Ponds

Petrol, or something like that,
Runs down Rhyd y Defaid
Hill.  The name translates ridiculously
As “way of the sheep”, a
Source of slight laughter during
Intoxicated poker nights in, when angsty punk
Songs scream from the stereo.
There are no sheep left,
And more regrettably,
No eternity of long grass fields refreshed
By heavenly late spring downpours either.
There’s only petrol fused with humid acid
Rain running down the road that strikes through a plain
Paralytic neighborhood.
The mixture forms a psychedelic puddle in the gutter;
A petroleum rainbow.
It looks quite beautiful for a moment,
Then my dog pulls at the leash in frustration,
And I move on plainly, dutifully.


Thoughts?

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Comments


  • logorrhoea
    September 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love your style.


  • sassykitty
    August 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Haven't seen the word defaid here before, Cymraeg! Excellent imagery and figurative devices really make this alive for the reader and I loved the use of metaphor. I liked this because it reminds me of familiar things and it's well crafted. Thanks for sharing and good luck with it.


  • The Otep
    August 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is awesome! I love the topic and your usage of great vocabulary make it all the better.

    Great job and keep up the great work


  • quiet.mind-ed
    August 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ummm. wow.
    i have a little issue with the form. i think spacing in certain places and line breaks would do this a world of good, and make it easier to read and make more of an impact. but alas, that is my opinion and we all have the license of poetic freedom.

    my favorite lines:
    a
    Source of slight laughter during
    Intoxicated poker nights in, when angsty punk
    Songs scream from the stereo