Sitting here
In this lifeboat with you?
For four dehydrated foodless weeks...
Has taught me a few things.
Like, for instance:
Blood only agitates one's thirst, more.
You cannot make a sundial out of a sunfish
even if you were a decorated boyscout.
Storms at Sea spill all water collected during them, anyway.
Ufo's are seen more prevalently when you're afloat, dying.
The Femur is the largest bone in the human body,
and very hard to remove while it's still being used.
Whether, as a makeshift mast or calendar
slash dayplanner-rolodex.
Or as a sunspun lukewarm appetizer.
It will leave you thinking and crippled
as it has left me here.
"They even have flies this far out?
looking for a free hand out."
I say to my wiggle-less toes,
but nobody knows.
Aint it a small world after all?
Just before it swallows you entirely.
Without a trace, or conscious opinion.
No Judge
No jury
Only the sound of your own voice
Helping you,
take you, down.
More fuel
for the waiting.
to be rescued.
Less to appreciate
when found.
Author notes
Written January 15th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Write about your best experience/memories or your worst by babi.
300 points, ended April 19, 2004, 18 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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a fantastic entry, and again very unique. thankyou so much for your entry and good luck in the contest xxx babi
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congradulations? LOL.. must be very heartwarming to receive the congradulations of a peer.
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all I can say is this is definitely a winner, wonderful write, and I am so glad you placed with it. I loved it and kept my attention with it. Wonderful job and congradulations on the trophy.
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You are eccentric to say the least. This is a marvel and worthy of first place. *CONGRATULATIONS!!!* What a story, and a way with words you have. What is "Spuna"? I am sure it is something all your own, for you have a magical sense of what the world is running through (comedy and tragedy). Very well done. I enjoyed this poem. You are very unique in style and content as a writer. Enough praise, I think! Great! (couldn't help it!)
Lynnette
Edited on Jan 20, 1:39 p.m. because '
'.
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Annieliscious doesn't seem to have an appreciation for broken mirror brilliance.You dabble in the glittering pastels of genius here,kind of a cacophony of well strung blade fragments.Here's my favorite portion:
"Blood only agitates one's thirst, more.
You cannot make a sundial out of a sunfish
even if you were a decorated boyscout." -
I just wonder whether flies have any nutritional value.
I've read somewhere they are quite high in Calcium though. Might help to build your femur up again! -
Tried out for Castaway eh? I keep seeing Hanks digging with that ice-skate trying to make the raft, yelling at Wilson "Damn you for having no bones, Wilson you spineless sonabitch I'm going to have to cut my femur out to get us off this damn island?" Flies are good, the kids on FearFactor eat em all the time.
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Witty
I'm back and ticked off....so watch it. I had nearly finished my comment on your piece when my computer rebooted ("stuck key" as the reason - HAH!) -- the beauty of what I had written escapes me now, but t'was possibly the most shining example of commentary as I have ever seen - I would repeat it here, but I had my eyes shut at the time.
Okay, back to it then (but this shall only be a pale shade of what had been writ in the sands of time)-- A lovely little ode to the femur bone, this contains a juicy marrow that satisfies the senses, quenches the poetic thirst and gnaws meatily at the conclusion. You are indeed the TRUE Poet Geek -- slicing not only your flesh to reveal gaping wounds (as in your other works), but now you remove ENTIRE bones for the gratification of the nickle-tossing hecklers, hustlers and farm folk. I should be somewhat concerned for your well being, but as you are THE Poet Geek, I know you have Prometheus-like regeneration and are immune from the vulgarities of infection and the like whilst regaining your bones, organs and flesh (but not strange and bizarre commentary).
A witty write - both humorous and containing a kernal of reality. Best of luck in the contest. "break a leg" -
This is very intriguing, i love the images... especially the part about the Femur bone... this is very creatively woven together.
Super poem, enjoyed this,
~ Wendy -
amusing
"They even have flies this far out?
looking for a free hand out."
*amused badly contained laughter* this is great! though not quite as...poetic as most of our entries, you need a little um...comedic relief every now and then. perfect! you made me laugh and kept my eyes glued to screen the whole time. plus, i have a new appreciation for the femur bone. joy!
~Annie
P.S. Love the art! more comedy.
Edited on Jan 15, 6:05 p.m. because 'forgot the PS'. -
what is this magnificent specimen i see before me....avast one to be sure...splice the mainbrace ..what do they call a man who swam across the atlantic with his hands tied behind his back....clever dick.....have you increased sales on the spuna yet....can you tell me my nearest stockist and what number bus i get. thank you for your kind help in this matter and i look forward to hearing from you in due course yours faithfully carrie fisher. ps when are you coming to dinner again with your big whopper and......small fries....ha gotcha....think i dont know what you got up to that night...i phoned her up and she told me aaaaaaaaalllll about it...and the ...with the.....which is....and also.....not forgetting....and ....large whistling noises etc etc...plus the...with the....as well as ...and then...tee hee .......
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I had to read this poem, as I have a poem by the same title (not posted here yet). This was quite different, to say the least. This must have been quite the nightmare! Either that or you smoked a little too much wacky tobacky (LOL).
Best wishes,
Hoosier writer & poet,
Moses L. Hochstetler -
wow your crippled what happened tell me about it
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