Residing deep within borders
of taunted sleep
lies a doorway,
slightly ajar.
A thin sliver of light
seeps
into my unconscious garden.
The gentle beat
of shaman drums
rolls softly
over snow tipped mountains
as the sun rises,
greeting the song of the blackbird
sitting by the stream,
flowing smoothly down the valley.
A fish dances its good morning,
carried sereenly under the bridge
where i sit.
Colourful butterflies
caress the aroma of tulips,
swaying gently to the tune
of a distant pipe.
My eyes gaze lovingly on the scene
soaking my soul
in the beauty before me.
A contest entry
- SPEAK TO ME FROM A NATIVE VOICE by Whispering Wind.
875 points, ended August 27, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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how beautiful.. You really did a wonderful job in showing your inner voice.. how peaceful this write is.. well done!! I truly loved this piece.. One of my favorites from you.. Niaish for sharing!!
Angel
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First of all....
I have this exact picture in my living room!
I bought it in store!
Amazing....really amazing.
This was like the perfect morning piece to read.
I felt ...refreshed after the first read....then totally mellow after the second.....
just a really enjoyable piece.
....the gentle beat of shaman drums....
exquisite..
Went good with my morning Ale...lol
BLESSINGS ALWAYS BROTHER,
LOWELL
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Nicely said...it's nice to read something so wistful from a man... Great flow with supurb imagery.
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Beautiful!
Romantic! I love nature, however I was never able to write cheerful things... Lovely images, great work, now you have a fan! Keep on writing, best wishes!
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Beautiful Images
Very well written and descriptive. I love the whole poem but particularly the last three lines. Keep up the great work! -
BREATH TAKING
The pictures you have painted upon your canvas of words brings such peace to the mind and heart and pulls a sigh as the colors and the beauty float softly by....A wonderful master piece and I thank you kindly for sharing it and for entering
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Stunning write....
I am in a state of pleased mind here my friend. To capture all around, as Mother Nature shares all there is, and be allowed to savour every moment, is a gift we all have been blessed with, but it is those who actually take time to relish in it all, that makes us feel at ease as it should be. An absolutely brilliant piece, extremely well done.
Niaish for sharing your vision..
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beautiful!!
very sweeet and peaceful...i loved it...i found my self living these words..well done my friend
juliet
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You create even without the picture a mood and beauty vividly portrayed here...A lovely free verse with lovely imagery here...Magnificent!
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A beautifully written poem. Very descriptive. Your garden sounds wonderful. I love butterflies, tulips and mountains. Good luck in the contest...Katie Lazette
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Reads beautifully and sounds wonderful when read aloud. The imagery and perception are great....an awesome poem!
My eyes gaze lovingly on the scene
soaking my soul
in the beauty before me.
Excellent.
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Superb
Ah, 'tis a fine write, indeed, my friend. Reminds me of the gardens I see sometimes during meditation. I love how your write relates to the pic. Again, very well done. -
Hello.
As I was reading this, I did get a strong sense of Native American Indian, and then I saw the contest title, ahhaha. What really brought the piece alive was from shaman drums onwards, for before it is like an introduction to the state you are in. Anyway the drums, and the description of them is well expressed, as I did look at the picture after that, and it fits in very well. There are some other good descriptions, and I do like the mention of those "distant pipes", I know that sound very well, obviously no point attempting to hum it through this, ahahaa. I think your native voice is good, only thing missing was some peyote and some buffalo, hahaha. I wish you well in the contest.
My regards.
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