the body quakes
the heart breaks
his love expires
your face perspires
you feel your heart shatter
to him it really doesn't matter
your body tumbles
your heart fumbles
a look of confusion takes over your face
he walks away at an agonizing pace
you sit ther crying, dying
he walks away not even minding
knife in hand held tight
you carve a puzzle heart without a fight
your blood spills from your arm fast
he leaves behind your old past
together again
how about it should have never been!
A contest entry
- Anything – and something specific! by Beating.
425 points, ended September 3, 2008, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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awwwwe
dang this is a good one but awwwwe -
In general, I'm not a big fan of poetry that includes cutting. I was a cutter myself, but I just don't like it in poetry, as I find that it often becomes the same as every other poem written about it. Yours did stand out a bit with your wording, and I applaud you for that, but I'm still not a fan of it. Other than that, I did feel the pain in your words and you have great talent when it comes to showing that. Good job!
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Awww Amazing Poem Kiss
~LadyLuff~ -
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thanx
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wow this poem is amazing keep it up
~Moonchild~ -
forgot...
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Amazing
this poem is filled with so much emotion....its just simply astonishing -
Fantastc
I enjoyed reading your poem. It has great emotion and imagery. In the second stanza, first line, did your mean to put heart?
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wow this is really lolita. Very pretty dark. I like it alot. Nice job.
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wow
twisted at the end but hell i like this. my kinda poem lol it's cool i love the flow and things just go into each other so perfectly...lol great write -
I really like this
Nice flow
a look of confusion takes over your face
he walks away at an agonizing pace
you sit ther crying, dying
he walks away not even minding
Nice flow
GREAT WRITE
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