Woeful Jack lived in misery:
his wife loath to return his loves,
worked at his in-laws’ company.
One day, Jack left the company
and his wife: free of misery!
Began a search for one he loves.
It failed, his search for pristine loves.
‘twas rash to leave the company;
wife’s wrath heightened his misery
at Misery Loves Company.
Author notes
"Misery loves company." - John Ray
Written in tetrameter, as best I could.
A contest entry
- Tritina by warrior-eagle.
700 points, ended August 25, 2008, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Whatcha think?
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Wonderful. This ability you have of telling tales with such brevity is amazing.
It seems very easy coming from you, you do make it look effortless. Excllent.
These forms....just write already
I want to read more of your work, so you're gonna have t
congratulations again, you are really starting to loosen up...
jin
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But forms are good.. curvy forms especially!!
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Nicely done! This meter looks like it would've been really hard to write, but you did a great job with it. Witty yet true for so many of us - I guess that's part of the appeal. Nice job.
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soooooooo sad, yet how true that so many are like that. this poem makes wonder how many of us are truely happy. nicely done.
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nice
It is always that way unfortunately precise and concise
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Lol this was actually funny, seriously,and I enjoyed reading it, you did a very good job with this form, no kidding, I really must say yours is better than mine Lol.
...Simply Me♥
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Ha ha...how very witty! This was terribly amusing. Nicely done., Dannie
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Thank you very much for the clappy dudes.
Glad you enjoyed it
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I liked the way you kept repeating "misery" and "company". it made it very interesting.
I really enjoyed reading this, it's a littel bit diffrent then what I read on here, but it's deffinatly great.
btw, I love your term of "clappy dudes" XDD
staygold.
-jenn
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Thanks for reading and commenting. The reason the words are repeated was to fit the type of poem, a tritina.
This is quite possibly one of the more difficult poems I've ever written, so I appreciate the clappy dudes.
And I think I shall hereby forthwith patent "clappy dudes". -
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haha. XD you so should patent it.
heh...It would've been tres difficult to me... you made it seem easy.
I guess I just take the easy way out and stay in my writing comfort zone.
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Very cute write. Nice job, and best of luck in the contest.
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'It failed, his search for pristine loves.
‘twas rash to leave the company;
wife’s wrath heightened his misery
at Misery Loves Company.'
I love the repetition of misery & company
tying into the final line which, for me
hit like a blow to the chest.
very very effective & well written!
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Thanks for the clappy dudes and for commenting
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This is so different from your haiku but nevertheless it's well structured and crafted. I even know the reference! Liked the narrative pitch and the characterization was effectivel Appropriate imagery and detail brought it to life. Good luck in your contest.
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Thanks a lot! It was really difficult to write, so glad you enjoyed it
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