Tear out these eyes--
I'm such a mess,
Dreaming of safety and wishing on constellations that don't exist.
Feel these open wounds-- can you feel this pain?
I'm breathing it in.
I'm shutting myself off.
And I swear that I'll believe every word you say...
If only you'd reach for me.
Live your life and forget that I'm alive--
Breathing, living, and dying for you.
Bleeding without you.
*Sing me that song about the lonely shadow,
The lifeless echo of a soul once alive.
Black became white as the truth had been revealed in darkness...
Joy became sorrow and lies had become verity.
We found each other, no longer alone as we're hidden in the shroud.
What happened to the days when you had cared?
They ended without an explanation.
Now your eyes don't see me.
Your hands don't hold mine.
I've become that ghost that turns songs into ashes
And dreams into smoke.
They drift past my hands...
My tears are left unseen,
My cries...unheard.
Take a step forwards, and I'm just going backwards,
Even farther than I've ever been before.
Don't look back, you might have your happiness stolen...
As if I could hurt you.
You see right through me,
But not to know me.
Transparency hides who I really am.
And it seems that I've forgotten your name...
Just as much as you've forgotten mine.
Author notes
For Contest: Links to other poems
"Decay" : http://allpoetry.com/poem/5039345
"Declination" : http://allpoetry.com/poem/5137267
"The Victim" : http://allpoetry.com/poem/4906583
"Frozen" : http://allpoetry.com/poem/4609125
~
The subject that this poem is about is being abandoned or forgotten by someone you love. I've written how much I've transformed because of that absence of the girl who seems to have forgotten me...
I've placed a star by one of the paragraphs-- it signifies where I started talking about a certain song that she and I had loved. It was "Autumn's Monologue", by From Autumn To Ashes. That song held a very special--yet depressing-- place in both of our hearts...we named it "our song." If you were to look up the lyrics and compare it to the starred paragraph, you could see where I took some of the lyrics and twisted them a little bit to talk about the said "transformation."
I wonder if she'll ever read this poem. If she really...cared...anymore, then these words would pierce her. I'm too afraid to show it to her myself right now, though. The last two lines of this poem actually doesn't completely say what I really feel-- of course I haven't forgotten her...and I don't want to. But I fear that her absence will slowly destroy me and make me forget, just how it seems that she's forgotten me.
...well, sorry for ranting. Just thought that this poem deserved an explanation. Please tell me what you think.
A contest entry
- Contest 2 of Suffering and Pain. Loss by MichaelSavage.
625 points, ended March 20, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dying Is The Latest Fasion by SoundsOfSilence.
800 points, ended April 5, 63 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITE!!!!! by Oscura Escorpia.
640 points, ended May 19, 149 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Whaddya think?
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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A deep and emotional write, best of luck in the contest.
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Great imagery!
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"My tears are left unseen,
My cries...unheard."
This is touching, it is different. I like reading it.
Thanks for entering my contest.
~~Kitten -
I think this is good. Good luck in your pain and in the contest. You expressed yourself well.
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this is really good but it doesnt quite fit what i waz looking for sorry. keep up wit the awsome work tho
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Reminds me of 7-8th grade....
I felt invisible to Nta-lie, constantly in afore-mentioned girls shadow
But.
I luffles my Nata-lie a whole bunchies, and I always have. and will forever's and ever. seriously. I'm going to live next door to you and we're gonna grow old together and beat the shit out of random hoodlum teenagers with our wicked canes.
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...eh.... *cries* I is sorry!!!!
I feel so bad...
But yes, we shall grow old together. And live in a tree-house. And move to that one weird place we saw in England yesterday for the...summer? Lol.
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I hope you're not talking about me.
You should seriously be published sometime. We all loveth you, Nienna!
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lol No, honey, it's not about you. We're not even THAT close, are we!?
Published!? Oh jeez. I'd say no, unless it brought in $, which I desperately need... *desperately wishes for Hot Topic shopping spree* -
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I agree. Take me with you on that shopping spree if you ever get it.
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I must admit that I had to hold back the well of tears that formed after reading this poem.
The issue of "abandonment" is real. It soaks through our skin, and becomes a second layer, buried close to the surface, screaming to be released.
I do hope that you begin to find your way around this pain. It would be hazardous if you would become stagnet because of loss love. You seem to be quite worthy of being loved, to the extreme. My hope is that mending begins because you were able to write about your true feelings. There are many, I am sure, that have felt this same pain. You are not alone.
Great emotional poetry!
Much & Respect ♥
Renee
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I's very sad,
and it made me cry.
Keep Writing
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Wow, this is really good!
It's so sad too.
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Amazing.
It almost made me cry...
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