Seething and growing,
This hatred cannot be abated,
For all the things you've commited,
I'll be oh so distant,
Wailing in your own sorrow,
Let this hatred be comforting,
Upon those cries,
You choke,
Tell me all the lies again,
Down to the detail,
Your fragile heart is my content,
Chase down this feeling,
Grip it tightly,
As I shove it down your throat.
All the words you've spoken,
Your love is so sadistic,
You claim innocence of youth,
Yet you've never spoken truth!
Your devotion,
Will drain you of life,
It shall constrict your throat,
Tell me all about your pain,
Don't spare a detail,
Shattering my heart,
Let the shards be the urge of the flesh,
Author notes
Just random thoughts in a moment of rage, make sense of it as you will.
A contest entry
- Choking by harrypotter.
375 points, ended August 22, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What was strong, what was weak?
Comments
-
Good
Such anger and bitterness in written form. Wonderfully done. The action language mixed with emotions was really effective.
-
I think that your random thoughts were really entertaining, however they didn't have any major surface or point of view that I was looking for in this contest...I understand and appreciate abstract poetry, but with the contest, it just doesn't hit the mark...sorry, man..great write though!
hp
Adding your comment:
