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Fleeting Refuge

She sat on the toilet

staring at the knickers at her feet,

as tears dripped longingly onto the crotch

and the cigarette smitten to lifelessness.

 

He'd pissed on her dreams so often

that worth was drowned

within the seams of her hose.

 

A brief respite in silent plea

sneered back at her,

as the roll klunked around

in monotones of hidden rage.

 

Then the sweet singsong voice

of her womb

pushed open the door,

to proudly display

the magic rabbit

that inevitably ripped open her core.

 

And once again,

she knew she'd stay.

 

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Amera gold member
    August 20, 2008

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    I was not the only judge for my contest and this poem deserves special recognition. The least I can do is put an Amera gold on it.


  • PerVirtuous
    August 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your worthy entry in our contest. This is a very powerful study into physical need. You speak almost of addiction. This is raw emotion penned with a keen eye.


    Then the sweet singsong voice
    of her womb
    pushed open the door,
    to proudly display
    the magic rabbit
    that inevitably ripped open her core.


    Very powerful. It is as powerful each time I read it. That is a rare quality. Thanks again for the entry and have some bunnies.

  • Amera gold member
    August 18, 2008
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    Oh my! This is amazing and certainly not what I expected from you. You reached in and grabbed your muse by the throat and pulled it to life in the dark genre with explicit imagery and gripping emotion. Thank you so much for the hours of work this masterpiece must have taken to compose. Bravo!

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • Danny Beatty gold member
    August 18, 2008

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    Did you know that in many oriental cultures the moon has not got a man in the moon, but a rabbit in the moon, and in fact, if you peer closely at the moon, you shall see that that is correct. Your poem is brilliant. It is stunning. Just stunning.

    three turtle seal of 'stunning' achievement


  • Margaret Denham gold member
    August 18, 2008

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    Believe it or not I knew exactly what you were saying...but knowing me I'm sure you can understand that.

    I really do love and understand where your words went. I hope the judges can also see the genius in those words.

    Best wishes in the contest

    Your favourite daughter (I hope)

    Love Margaret


  • you make me smile
    August 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Oops forgot to give you the applause so here they are

  • you make me smile
    August 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    That's kind of left me speechless! It's certainly different. A good different You never cease to surprise me! Hope I'm reading it right. A bad relationship, the toilet is her reflecting/silent space before she decides to stick it out yet again? A different kind of imagery, very well written. Goodluck in the contest

1 - 12 of 12