I still hear the children weeping.
See the garden white with snow.
As I languish here near death.
My eyes have lost their glow.
My wish; That I'm no burden.
As age spreads it's decay.
The visions of tomorrow,
sigh for yesterday.
In sackcloth and in ashes,
no one must mourn for me.
Just say a gracious passage .
Then leave and let me be.
This blemish on my brain,
has chained me to this chair.
And dribble from my mouth,
adjoins with hidden tears.
My God now seems much closer.
Awaiting my last breath.
And death will be a favor.
Go, in peace, with due respect.
....Dedicated to my Mother.
A contest entry
- Love me, hate me, it's all the same to me!!!! by HeartBr8ker.
400 points, ended August 22, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Everything 2 by Juno101.
500 points, ended August 9, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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yo, "this blemish on my brain/has chained me to this chair" thats my favorite lines of the poem. its a good tributo your mother. good job. thanks for joining my moresome.
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This is an exquisite touching poem about a time in life we all reach one way or the other. A long drawn out decline is sometimes simply our fate. You have a solid persepective and the languid flow and dignity of simple words are a winning combination.
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Oh this describes a lot of peoples fears. To be a burden. But to be honest a loved one is never ever a burden. I know I have never thought of my mother as being a burdern. She just had open heart surgery on May 29 and I stayed with her (she lives alone) taking off work and leaving my own home and life so that she could come home to her own house. I took her to doctors appt. and saw that she ate, was able to bathe herself, and took her med's appropriately. And not once did I think of her as a burden. I did it out of love. I love my mother and want her to be here on this earth with me for as long as she is able to.
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Hello
You know there is a long story behind this poem and sadly I cannot redo what has been done. But you should be proud of who you are as a daughter. Thanks so much.
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My wish; That I'm no burden.
As age spreads it's decay.
The visions of tomorrow,
sigh for yesterday.
Compelling! Great job and grats on the spotlight!
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That was a beautiful expression of a painfully familiar senario. Watching ones we love wither and waste away...
Your words give great insight, and offer comfort to those of us who can relate. Thank you. -
this is a perfect execution with intense emotion behind it... makes for some pretty damn good poetry.
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A powerful, yet melancholy poem...
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one of the best fricken rhyming poems i've read in a long while. Absolutely beautiful
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Salt
I ty for such a kind and direct comment. Is much appreciated.
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Very well written indeed. This is almost painful to reaed. You hit a nerve. Very well done for this, and good luck in the contest!
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Very nice tribute to your mother. As one who's rapidly reaching that point I've become conscious of those around me who've suffered a similar plight. Your piece expresses the effects of aging extremly well in such a few short lines. Damn fine work. Happy trails
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such a heartfelt write, it is very well written emotionally and poetically. Thanks for sharing yourself and best wishes always
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Poingnant, lovely. Sharply written, great imagery. Well done.
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wow is all i can say
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Great dedication
compassionate and a tad melancholly nice words and easy rhyming like it a lot
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Thanks
John that was many moons ago.I was in my mid twenties. But st times I just have to get it out there. TY again
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heartwrenching!
Sixth stanza second line, I do think you mean "then"?
This is a beautifully written and eloquent poem filled with love, compassion, empathy and grace. Both in my personal and professional life I have bore witness to this more times than I would like to count. You have keenly described the pain not only from the perspective of witnessing but of one living it. Many doctors will say so often that one isn't aware of their surroundings. While that may be true at least in part of the time, this stanza;
"And dribble from my mouth,
adjoins with hidden tears."
Is proof of even those moments I've bore witness to, that proves those acute moments of lucidity. How keenly you've described being trapped within your own body.
This reads like a minuet in that the tempo (much like the last stages of our life, is more often than not,) is slow and steady through out. And like the final bow leaves us with our throat tight and our hearts squeezed so tight we can barely catch our breath. As we slowly raise our eyes, there is relief. Relief in knowing that we would much rather absorb all the pain there is so that our loved one no longer has a moment of it. My sincere condolences to you.
~Michelle~
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Lovely Heartfelt Words
Your words are so full of love and caring. They touch my heart. Losing both parents myself I know how these words come from your heart. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. A beautiful and heartfelt poem.
Bless You Dear Friend,
Sandy 
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Oh this is just beautiful and I think because it is filled with such love and respect. It's so sad to see our loved ones who were our 'rock' get old and fragile.
I loved the feeling that this poem evokes in me. Sad but with such honour.
All the best with this
gaylene
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Beautiful
This is tear jerking poem. Great write. But it don't follow the rulse... It can't be a finalist... Sorry... -
A very emotional piece my friend, your writings are always meaningful.
Just Lovely
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A very moving tribute expressed with great emotion. I think the final line is one syllable too long. Maybe to make a statement. Maybe delete 'now'. in last line; same impact but better flow.Poem is very very good.
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Very touching.....
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Are we ever ready dear friend.It is very hard to understand why we leave this earth so.One thing is sure your mother will be proud of you, Ros
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Facing death, I suppose must bring so many thoughts about what is next and who we leave behind and how we lived our lives. I can't imagine just waiting for it to happen as you described so perfectly. This is a great piece of poetry, pulling the reader in to feel what you feel...at least thats how it was for me when I read. BRAVO
God Bless
Nevadapoet
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Ty
sadly in the case of my mother she really did not have many options. Death was low and painful.the hard life I guess. Again ty.
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your mother will be very proud of you. that's the 1st ever poem that made me cry.
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Touched me deeply Bob.
My respects to your mother who you have written this so very well for.
Sol
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I am profoundly touched by this lovely piece, Bob. Once again, a beautiful poem.
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Hi
And I do thank you so much. At times the world just does not understand until it is way to late. As I did not at that time.
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sad but sweet Bob. I know how you must have felt when writing this. You have a way with words that tag you as a true poet, may God bless you
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