Many months
after you passed
I still held you
captive
bones and ash in brass
still sensing you watching
my every move
with that furtive sailor’s
smile that held me
captive
for so long …
I watched as our river
mirrored
each passing season
‘til finally
I’m sure I heard you
whisper,
Can I go now?
Gently,
you said it gently
and I felt moved,
moved by hands
that had kept on winding
‘round that old clock’s face.
It was time …
The river bank was steep that day,
steeper than I ever remember
as I fumbled down
to set you
adrift
while the on-looking group
of fears grasped tears
clinging to the notion
that forever means
see you later my friend …
bon voyage sailor!
I still keep my eye
on the river
and often I wonder
how can we ever
truly
let go ... ... ...
© 2008 Joy A Burki-Watson
Author notes
The art of love... is largely the art of persistence."~Albert Ellis"
A contest entry
- The Constant Gardner~A Dedication to Wounded Lovers by Blue Rew.
808 points, ended August 26, 2008, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - here i go again; by innocence jaded.xx.
400 points, ended April 19, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please take time to share your comments ...
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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very well written. i liked this a lot. the emotion was strong, and i loved the uniqueness of format you have in this. thank you for entering & good luck (: ♥
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what a moving write *eyes glossy*
i havent experienced many deaths, but im sure that day will come and when it does, i will keep these words in my mind as a reminder that it is ok to let go...
brilliant!
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OMG... *sigh* Your words have managed to make this big burly guy shed a tear.
This was so moving
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This is absolutely superb...!!
yes, it's sad my friend but every particle of every word trickles ever so tenderly from the heart it's a wonderful poem that flows as gently as the river that is described in it...sometimes I think that we never let go...sometimes I believe it is meant to be that way...love can never die it is eternal...perhaps we are too...
John
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This is so vivid in its feel...
it wraps around me as I read and there
is no need for explaination, artwork or
intricate words. I adore poetry written
with thick intensity and that is what
I would say is found here. Blue
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This is gorgeous free verse... you do such a wonderful job here. I do believe this poem confirms that I won't find out at a later date that your full name is Alfred Joy Burki-Watson. Imagine my dismay to find that Joyce Kilmer was a GUY the other day! I'm slowly starting to read more about poets and absorb some of their poetry as well. Kilmer's history was actually a tragic story. Sorry to digress, but I just read his history for the first time yesterday and it completely ruined this mental image I had of Joyce Kilmer--the lady who wrote: "I think that I shall never see..." etc.
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Sometimes, just sometimes
I have this yearning to take 'hurt' [for lack of a better word] away from others, and to offer a little relief or reprieve, but then, I also know that this would be 'selfish', as the 'hurt' is so preciouly personal. Your poem has struck deep into my heart, brave one - a journey I am nearly ready to undertake myself!! Frans
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See, it's almost like I'm clairvoyant (see my last reply on...forget it, too hard to explain.)
See, this is that sentiment, skill and "to the point" idea I just wrote about. But I can't pick on those who write poorly (since I am one of them), it isn't our fault, we don't all have your ability to define emotion without it seeming trite. For most of us all we can do it let the barn door open and let the cows run amok. Eventually they do their business and head back to the barn. There isn't much art to letting the critters just amble about.
A sad but poignant poem that speaks more about love than loss.
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The "on-looking group"
grows as each reader
stands by your side,
caught in your moment,
silently applauding
your bravery.
Perfectly expressed.
Aesthete2000
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Letting go.... is something I've done in my brain but my heart refuses listen to logic. You've shared a very touching piece of your heart with us in your words of love.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
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I love it
Your words hold these emotions tentatively and let them go with a little sigh... "captive... captive" and "moved by hands/ that kept on winding" were the most relatable bits for me. Even when we make the ritual of release, it is not complete. Bravo to this, Joy, I would not change a word nor a comma.
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Beautiful, yet sad and lonely...
Joy, this is one of the most sensitively written poems of love for those already gone that I've ever read. Thank you for sharing your heart and soul, and thanks also for being the person and the poet that you are. This is amazing, with excellently penned expressions of deep respect and concern for the deceased's wishes. These are my favorites lines:
"while the on-looking group
of fears grasped tears"
Peace, Cyn
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