And every time I awoke
scribbling more ink into the notebook,
I remembered how badly you hurt me
when I started to rebuild trust with you
again.
I bled ink just to breathe you,
only finding myself numb
to the point of destruction;
knowing your heart
thirsts for the quench of
somewhere else,
something else,
for her.
Could I have foreseen
such a nightmare?
To wander and gallivant
so carelessly?
The long, sleepless nights
embracing calamity
under my sodden quilt
that you wrapped me tightly in
when it rained...
now only preserving
your scent within its threads,
haunting my senses until
I feel somnolent;
And every time before I sleep
I toss out another letter of redemption,
remembering how badly you hurt me
when I started to forgive you
again.
A contest entry
- The letter that never arrived. by withoutlove13.
450 points, ended August 27, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
come with me, into the land of the unknown
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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wow this is beautiful seems like you poured your soul into this one and yes i've been there before i know how it feels to try and forgive somebody but you can't cause of how badly they hurt you asking for forgiveness sometimes is too much to ask
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Ouch, this one stings and it should. The heart is displayed raw with venom. I like the combination. Your naked here and unshamed. Hell of a piece of heart! Woot!
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this switches tenses a little too much. and it overspeaks a little. maybe im just turned off by the word gallivant and the bleeding ink. a little more melodramatic than sincere.
but overall, it handles a difficult situation with a good bit of maturity and originality. -
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you have your opinion which is fine, but overall everyone loves it including myself and that's all that matters. I write how I write and it definitely is not melodramatic. I'm not some teenager writing without a clue about the world. It's real. It's me. I'm not changing for anyone. Not the way I write, or the way I am. thanks for your comment.
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Excellent
To love and then be betrayed. Pouring your heart out on paper searching for reasons why. Your words display that deep pain and your pen is filled with magic.
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Thank you for your sincerity bob
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I really could relate to this poem.. I think we have all been here before when we find we start trusting people again only to have them hurt us even worse the second time around... great job portraing that...
Could I have foreseen
such a nightmare?
To wander and gallivant
so carelessly?
nice work.....
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thank you so much
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this is so sad.!!!!!
"knowing your heart
thirsts for the quench of
somewhere else,
something else,
for her."
I think you read minds, cause I have felt like this far too many times.
I love you and I don't hate your background
Sincerely,
Your eggeh
P.s. I only had two clappy's left...so
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Worthy !!
Good scribbling. Well, your work always teaches me some new words, I am happy to add you in my Favourite list. A letter never sent...Ok, just let me know how you derived this idea, I mean to write on this, any such happenings or whatever which inspired you to go with this idea.
You have done your Best. -
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hello friend, who always makes me smile with your comments the contest was to write about a letter you have never sent. because you were scared, worried, maybe unsure. I just chose a situation I was in where every time I started to trust someone again they messed up once more and knocked down that wall of trust. I'd write a letter every night to send them, but then throw it away instead. There was no point in trying to redeem that wall that had been busted down so many times. thank you for your comment, I really enjoy when you leave your thoughts on my work.
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wow i really liked this
the imagery is amazing
i loved it
best of luck in the contest! -
Love that ending, I'm a bit of a whore when it comes to endings, a bad one can ruin all that went before just as a good one can enhance it .. yours certainly enhanced.
good luck in the contest
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the scribbling seems that you can be a little hasty to assume things. and of course, like you say, you started to forgive them again. Nice little write.
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"I bled ink just to breathe you"
Ah that line, I'm so jealous I didn't think of it first!
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This reminds me of Chad...
Wow.
I'm speechless Kerri. Honestly speechless.
The vocab helps this flow so well.
Good luck chica.
♥
Ily. -
great write!! good luck in the contest.. i have sat back and thought this many times before!!! very great write
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I thought your vocab was absolutely wonderful.
though it seemed a little choppy, even still it was a great write!
thank you for entering
=] -
Awe, this is heart wrenching [I think that's the word I want] It's beautifully written and full of emotion.
Good luck in the contest love!
♥
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