Cry each day
but the tears won't drown me
Shriek all night
but my ears won't bleed
Thrash per hour
but the chains won't shake me
Bleed by minute
but the blood won't stain me
Dream every second
but your nightmares won't wake me
You're my one and only
The face in my crystal ball
My future lies in your red startled eyes
One slip and it could cost both our lives
I'll keep you as my golden treasure
And feed your thirst with enemies lies
You're my secret that hangs in the grave
Your desire to kill me
makes my love reach to hell
I'm shaking hands with the devil and dead angel
Leaving my heart to bleed
in your venomous fangs
Author notes
XRagdollsHavHeartsX -insted of havin the human be a victim to a vampire, i thought of havin the vampire be subject to the humans love and belief in a possible destined future with the vampire
Opt.1-vampires, love/heartbreak
A contest entry
- Dark Love by notallowedtocry.
600 points, ended August 22, 2008, 3 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - When Love and Death Embrace... by Zane Rose.
1000 points, ended August 22, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
..............opinions, advice
Comments
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wow i really love this poem. just how it flows. wicked mate.(:
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this is a beautiful write. the beginning is awesome... but so is the rest of it! just... idk *awestruck*
Good job and good luck!
~Allie~ -
I really like this poem as it has a different rhyming pattern and how the idea is different as well. It's quite startling with violence and images but you can tell there is love there. And I liked the line 'I'll keep you as my golden treasure' it seems quite possessive. Well done and good luck in the contest notallowedtocry xxx
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This is good and I loved the beginning of this because it really drawed the reader in with the "cause and effect" kind of technique. The only thing that I saw that could be fixed is the "you're" in your desire to kill me. It should be "your" because you aren't saying "you are desire to kill me".That wouldn't make sense. Other than that, great write.
~Faithful-Star
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