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Beating a Memoir

Lunar illuminations
           lit ill ideals
between dreams and disasters
scenting bitter-sweet sensations
of rejections bleeding phrase.

Behind back yards and barns
the crater you left behind
carved history in my heart
hearing hallucinations
    howl at the moon
I screamed your name;
           
            Do you love me now?

Like a question to repeat
reforming once upon a time
in middle-aged memories
    dusted off the self,
he used to caress and kiss away the pain.

Finally I put books away
tidied tattered remains
while sitting, 

         vacantly
seeing replays in black and white
of you and me.

      

   Do you still wish

      in the dent in my head?

 

 

                    our wishing well.

 

Author notes

part of mine and daddy's game
3rd round
prompt: the crater you left behind

daddy's poem:http://allpoetry.com/poem/4522241

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Riamh
    August 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A very expressive, beautiful poem, spilling over with feeling. An excellent write.
    Slayer


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    August 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The second stanza is just fantastic, this is a great piece. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.

    ♥
    whisper


  • etoile
    August 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Behind back yards and barns
    the crater you left behind
    carved history in my heart
    hearing hallucinations
    howl at the moon
    I screamed your name;

    Do you love me now?
    ---
    that stanza is beautiful.

    seeing replays in black and white
    of you and me.
    ---
    and those lines.. they hit me so hard
    i love this<3
    and the background is beautiful


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    August 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very poignant Steph, with powerful diction and metaphor, nicely done.

    Oh, one little thing; you misspelled 'biter' I think it should be 'bitter.' That's all.


    With much love,
    mj.

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    August 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow darling I love this and the background is amazing you are getting better at tehjm love you loads have a great day


  • Number 13
    August 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is absolutely gorgeous!
    and I'm in love with the background.

    You have such a way with words,
    and you're by far one of my av writers.

    you amaze me ♥


  • The Unknown Poet1
    August 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ahem! I am going to have to dig deeper, you make these prompts your own. I love how you took this iis a memoir/history/dust/memory metaphor beautifly sad and yet healing with hope *kisses the dent in head all better* love you stephiez and you did exceptionally well withh this.

    love,
    Dad


    • luna-midnight gold member
      August 17, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      hahaha yeah, actually i do have alot of kotts and all on my head 0.o

1 - 10 of 10