I bridged the gap between you and I
using only my irises and warmth from my heart.
so when you started walking towards me
I felt like the hallway was shrinking
[you were getting closer way too fast
& I wasn’t ready for the shockwaves coming from your fingertips]
I ran my fingers one at a time through candlesticks
trying to feel the heat
but my passion for you was way stronger than 100 degrees
& I couldn’t figure out if I was numb from the lust
Or numb from the pain.
[in times like this it doesn’t really matter anyway
much like the times you pushed me into hurricanes and said ‘don’t spin’]
Now your voice is seeping into my skull
your tender [rough] words are causing me to shiver
I’m breathing in your licorice breath
& when it gets to my lungs
it solidifies and glues my vocal cords together
so I cant even call out your name
when I start drowning in my own desire.
I tried to read the map of your heart,
I tried to figure out what I was doing wrong,
but all I learned was that I’m tormented
by a multitude of complications
& suffering for a single phrase.
[I doubt that I fit perfectly in the palm of your hand like you said]
Flipping through the manual titled ‘love me’
I got a paper-cut, and flimsy sentences dripped out of my veins
followed up by broken words and promises.
[no blood was to be seen,
my heart was dry from working too hard on understanding you]
I tried too hard
& accomplished nothing.
Author notes
for YoureNoGoodForMe 's contest
thunder.xx.paradise
thursday: fav prewrite
In a list
A contest entry
- write me a web of words. by deadpixie020.
700 points, ended September 11, 2008, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Dude. Wonderful title =]
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Definitely loved this poem. It was so full of beautiful imagery, and incredibly written. I loved this write, and I honestly can't even tell you how much I can relate.
-Now your voice is seeping into my skull
your tender [rough] words are causing me to shiver
I’m breathing in your licorice breath
& when it gets to my lungs
it solidifies and glues my vocal cords together
so I cant even call out your name
when I start drowning in my own desire.
...
That was probably my favorite stanza
Especially the "tender [rough] words" connection. It's almost like a whisper when you put it in brackets. Brilliant. I also really liked the whole licorice breath concept. Well worded. Thanks for entering & keep it uppp 
♥
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Wow this was amazing. Beautiful imagery & loved your use of metaphor. I enjoyed your style of writing too.
Everything came together wonderfully.
Great write!
Thanks for entering & best of luck
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Great write. Really liked:
Flipping through the manual titled ‘love me’
I got a paper-cut, and flimsy sentences dripped out of my veins
Best of luck in the contest.
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I LOVE THIS! Your wording is beyond..words! I really think you deserve a prize in this contest, it is an excellent poem. A line that really stuck out in this poetry is "[in times like this it doesn’t really matter anyway
much like the times you pushed me into hurricanes and said ‘don’t spin’]" GOOD LUCK!!!
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thanks a lot
im glad you liked it!
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wow, there is some really, really good imagery in this, and the kind of pained emotion that is always hard for me to write, esp the italicized part; loved it.
good luck to you, too :]
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Flipping through the manual titled ‘love me’
I got a paper-cut, and flimsy sentences dripped out of my veins
followed up by broken words and promises.
pretty fckin awesome emu.
this is one of my favourite writes by you.
lovelovelove.
<3 -
much like the times you pushed me into hurricanes and said ‘don’t spin’
FAVORITE LINE
EVERRRRRR.
ahhhhhh.
i hate you
jealous.
that's BEAUTIFUL.
sorry, now I will return to reading the poem.
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