My heart hangs on some rusty old hinges
Lying lips place their hidden obstacles
Tongues of poison spew venom like serpants
Revealing light seems so impossible
Better to have never been born a soul
Chances are I’ll burn for eternity
Night sights from the north make me watchful
As icy winds twist a thought within me
Hypocrites create my hostility
My thoughts fall inside a deep depression
Slaughter me with all your stories untrue
Lip service brings only much more tension
Life is hollow enough without your lies
Killing me slowly as my shadow cries
In a list
A contest entry
- Anything Goes by silentxparadise93.
600 points, ended September 11, 2008, 83 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Need Some Love
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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My heart hangs on some rusty old hinges
Lying lips place their hidden obstacles
Tongues of poison spew venom like serpants
Revealing light seems so impossible
disturbing, chilling and beautuful all in all
This gave me some deep thoughts. I know I've been a hypocrite myself...
ps, I love the bg, you have the beautiful bgs I've seen here on AP
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I love the first line, simple description, and painfully poetic.
Poisonous tongues date back for 1000's of years, obviously the progression in humanity is morbidly slow.
It's not easy being selfless in a selfish world. I feel for you bro.
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A thought provoking write with honest, raw emotion. Those who say one thing and do another suffer from low images of themselves...they believe what they say at the time they say it, but lack the intellict to carry through with what they say or committe to. It is sad really...I feel empathetic towards those people and pray they find the worth they look for with they tekk their lies. An excellent write, with powerful language, great imagery and good flow.
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Painfully written my brother. Pain screams from every line. Trust in Him and say a prayer. Scott
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Man Man that some heavy shut yo mouth
What is there to say when simply words run deep. It amazing how this work of art jumps out at the reader.
This poem speak truth like none other,Last two line did it for me.
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This is really good, it's full of emotion which is what poetry should be all about and not cheesy or overdone in anyway.
Well done.
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Emotional
This is a really emotional poem and it gets me. It speaks true feelings. I'd write more but you have reduced me to tears. Exelent. Your talent is great.
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This is an intriguing work with deep, deep depths of emotion. To bare one's inner soul like this, or portray the baring of another's soul, is wordcraft indeed! I love the first verse, it drew me onwards and especially the powerful opening;
'My heart hangs on some rusty old hinges
Lying lips place their hidden obstacles'
Sometimes we feel so emotionally raw, it does feel like the very hinges of our heart are battered. 'Rusted' also suggests neglected, or abandoned, perhaps the mark of a searing pain or loneliness. Great write again. Thank you for sharing.
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Life is hollow enough without your lies
Killing me slowly as my shadow cries
That is an awesome line and a terrific way to end this very well written, heart-rending poem.
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GOSH !!! and i thought I was the only one suffering from the hostility and hypocries of this world. How do people even do it I really still try and understand as you enden it with a powerfull bang
"Life is hollow enough without your lies
Killing me slowly as my shadow cries"
simply awesome and i think i should wear it in my neck and walk around.
Thanks for sharing a powerful write
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This is so sad
For wehat commeth from the mouth of one who knows not love often pulls others down with it feeling lost and unworthy of life yet to not listen and know you are perfect within and no one can pull you down you shall fly beyond the grasp of the users and find life is what we make it ourselves not the confines of others to hold us back
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reminds me of the anime Peach Girl... rumors are the worst
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Touching
I can relate to this very well. I think many people say what they think we want to hear. It full of feelings. I know some hypocrites have created some hostility in me from some parts of my life. It took me a long time to forgive them. I love the ending it captures one attention. The last line touches the heart. I think it a write that many can relate to in many ways. You have such a great way in expressing many thoughts and feelings. It just amazes me in many ways
love your sis
brenda -
I hear the pain the emotion is strong in this write.
I hate to see you in pain...you know where your help is. He love you no matter what He will carry you through.
Plus you have great support here, you know that!
Hugs
~Lisa~
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I can taste the rwa pain and emotion here. It seems people have let you down. One advice try not to be so open in the write, so the reader could be more surprised. I indeed love the first stanza, the line that speaks of tongues of venom, now that line is breathtaking.
I like the way you laid your heart out and especially your feelings, it's hard to pen out true emotion, specially this raw.
The ending concluded nicely and reminded me of a song;
Life is hollow enough withot your lies-
now that line is delicious...
nicely penned my friend!
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i really like the flow to this, the whole feeling of being left alone and broken comes across well in the piece, the rhymes are efortless, not forced in the slightest, and those last to lines struck a nerve this packs a punch i enjoyed the read!!!
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Awww hon,
I give you such sisterly love and hugs that I hope and pray I can chase your sadness and pain away!
You've always been there for me; let me be there for you
Love you dearly,
Sissy -
This indeed I was the first to read yet comp was acting silly
I am in tears still for this hit deep.
I do love you so.
and know no matter what the other half of your soul, yea me, will always be by your side
Loving you always
Tory
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wow my dear!!! this brings tears to the soul for the darkness and treachery of pain that bleeds from your mighty pen. The saddened imagery reigns profoundly within each line. I hold you in my arms and in my heart. many loving blessings always xxx
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A Muse's Dream... With Metaphor Galore!!!
You've written a fine masterpiece with surreal immagery that takes my breath away... Hopoefully this poem will sweep some of those lies away, as well... Take care and good luck in the contest!!! Peace, Cyn 
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oh goodness
lies never prove anything but betrayal, you penned this with such lethal spite, should be a good one for this contest....good luck
Lin
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