Close before breath
over distance and promise
across the wave
of you're not here,
how impossible touch
deepens intimate roots
beneath all ouch or bliss
so aches in wonder
this life leans back
to see those eyes,
so at home in mine
subtle one word,
slight nuance in tone a-blast
colour changes
my gathered wholeness,
here present
chosen decided heart
reconciles all extremities
windows ready blown out
by desirous breath
one tear let so missed
so felt, so far, so near
sped on its journey
polarities traversed
thumps at me simultaneous
even before your lips
move words to tell
and hear
expansion of our meeting,
your unseen landscape, foreign
I feel the soil beneath your feet
as thoughts shoot past
all constellations,
collected, embraced between us.
You are the one who is here
and I am there, here first
between you and all other
where distances
finally and sweetly arrive.
In a list
A contest entry
- some examples of distance by Nicolette.
1500 points, ended September 1, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Welcome any sincere response and critique
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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BEAUTIFUL
Love knows no distance and softly grows, as two hearts find their resting place...words are spoken with tenderness, far and yet so near...lays softly upon heart~ thank you my friend for sharing this and much luck in the contest
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This is so soft and I felt every word of it as it flowed effortlessly across the page.
I particularly loved:
"to see those eyes,
so at home in mine"
Such simple phrasing, yet with maximum impact. I think some people may underestimate what it means to be at home in somebodys eyes; it speaks volumes.
Thank you for sharing this
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Much thanks for your kind and most generous comment Allyce.
Sol
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I've read somewhere that a poem walks around the world and then finds its home in the one it was meant for. This is how this poem made me feel. I so understand each and every word you've pressed here against this page - I almost felt as if each word was mine... I know distance love so well - the tear, the smiles, the far, the near. This is beautiful poetry and the last stanza almost reads like an envoi... it all comes together there. I really liked this - the thoughts, the phrasing, the line breaks, the word-economy. Beautiful - one of your best that I've read. Thank you for this entry.
~ Nicolette
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Thank you so, so much Nicci
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There are good days
and bad days in any long distance relationship
I've been there..
hell, I even have a tattoo that represents that relationship..
so does he ... scratched into his back
and I remember the long and short of distances depending on whether we were at exhale or inhale..waiting to breathe again..
so..
well represented and expressed..
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I hear what you say and thank you for it. Your help, to keep a whole and wary wisdom open, in perspective with at least one foot on the ground.
I can find loads I'd like to say in response, for which this isn't the place but enough to say that I really do appreciate your comment here.
Thank you Suzanne
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I'm not in a wordy place....
so let me simply say
I'm sure this finds its home.. and beyond
as it can be taken far
and in more than one way
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I'm so glad you can see it like that.
Thank you
muchly
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such love holds no distance, nor does hold onto anything that will steal it away..... it's fluid and moving with the love shared between the two of you
most beautiful indeed
lovely lovely lovely
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X
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What a lovely piece and sweet dedication to your beloved Sol..
I loved this 2lines very much:
'your unseen landscape, foreign
I feel the soil beneath your feet'
Excellent piece..my best wishes my friend
Ruby
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Thank you Ruby...
so glad that you are still here
and my best wishes to you
Sol
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thank you, you beautiful youXX
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