They said she used a long electric flex,
To hang herself and take away the shame.
An email claimed she'd got the job through sex;
The man who sent it won't accept the blame.
He claims that it was just a harmless game,
The man she loved believed that it was true,
Called her a whore and said that they were through.
Her Mother said a perfect light had failed
And that her life was also at an end.
A dismal fate was thoughtlessly emailed;
He claimed a harmless game of let's pretend.
Perhaps the blame belongs to his best friend,
There never would have been a tragic loss
But then he sent the mail on to his boss.
The friend denies his actions were at fault;
The girl it seemed had bumped into his car.
"The bloody girl was just too slow to halt,
I can't accept my actions went too far,
My brand new car had got an ugly scar!"
So what if now the silly bitch has died,
He didn't know his friend had simply lied.
The garage fixed the scratch at tiny cost.
The friends have lost their jobs and moved away.
Their thoughtless words have meant her life is lost,
A rather heavy price she had to pay.
A thoughtless thing for any fool to say.
A scratch can be a simple thing to mend
But words can take away a special friend.
Author notes
It is entirely fictional before anyone starts thinking otherwise!
1."A torn jacket is soon mended; but hard words bruise the heart of a
child." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882)
In a list
A contest entry
- Torn by Pamela A Lamppa.
1750 points, ended August 20, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Your form is executed perfectly with syllable count and rhyme scheme. A tragic tale to relate and such a different way of looking at this prompt. I liked where you went with this.
Your practiced hand shows skill with form and rhyme - my favorite way to write.
One teeeeeeeny tiny typo:
""The bloody girl was just to slow to halt,"
too slow to halt.
Thank you for this. It is most impressive. Best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela
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oops fixed
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Love it, you did a splendid job on this piece!
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Boffo!
Why, this is a libretto for a Greek opera, no?
Very impressive, seriously.
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Got me going for a moment matey-began to wander what newspaper had it!!!
Bumpy xxx
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Very well-crafted, bro.
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This... i shall not comment on.
too deep and....
good luck in contest.
Love
Passions
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