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You're not

The Antichrist bereft belief.
The fleshy of a fallen leaf.
The entity you'd hope to be.
Not ethereal. Not heavenly.

The swill beneath the sewer grates.
The jewel-encrusted pearly gates.

The bated breath life intubates.

Not meant to be. Not worthy.

 

 

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • notorious gold member
    August 23, 2008
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    Sorry about the HM. Congrats


  • ArtFullyMe gold member
    August 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You're not a vacant vacancy
    A life as it was meant to be
    Successful as you always dreamed
    Not ghostly or too lovely

    Nor some devil in disguise
    Or the shine in Peter's eyes

    I give up.. lol

    Excellent meter and images.
    I kept thinking you're not heaven or hell ..as I read and wound up with, you're not anything but -- the commonest of common at the end..


  • Cannonsfire
    August 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    lol you know I felt the same thing as the comment below it made me want to start singing the same song! Just lilts with music this. Love, C


  • cheaphotelsign
    August 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i fell into a burnin ring o' fire...i went down down down and the flames burned higher...and it burns burns burns...the ring o' fire...the ring o' fire... heavy duty...heavy duty rock & roll. awesome. i can believe you wrote that. i dig it.

  • notorious gold member
    August 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Satan smokes

    Not fancying the every-line-is-capitalized thing...doesn't seem like your style...but then, your style changes whenever you're drunk or sober so...

    "bereft belief."
    Say that 5x fast...I DARE YOU. Me likes.

    "The fleshy of a fallen leaf."
    Did you mean to say 'fleshy' or 'flesh'? Either way, it's quirky. Quirky is good.

    Oh...I just realized this rhymed.
    That would explain the traditional look of the write.

    "jewel encrusted"==>jewel-encrusted
    For the love of Satan, add a goddamn hyphen!! LoL...

    'intubates' is a neato word.

    Bashing God...love the angle.
    Good luck


    • sheltered
      August 17, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      hunted down
      by the hyphenated
      hell-hounds

      I cant believe I wrote that. lol

1 - 8 of 8