She came
when spirit felt empty
despair was near surrounding
his core as air might cover skin
throb of life was a deep
vibration, hearts of drums
slow sounds moving heavy night
across dark distance;
she touched him
by hands not quite real
fingertip trails uncertain, all there
or only in wishful mind; as unkind hours
and want that sought to flee from grip;
when she spoke,
sounds from her mouth
were like music of singing strings
plucked then left to ring, softer and softer
in downward arcs that raised eyes
and heightened senses; that any of this
might be, survive the breathless present
linger beyond the blink of an eye.
She loved
with lightness of wind that lifted
salty sweat and intensity of sunlight
that kissed until yearning and a burn
with care of the healer by things unseen
who cleanses injured walls of hearts and seals
breach of wanton tearing, beyond cruelest reach
of unfeeling …she loved like wombs of birth
like the star loves the night, as moonlight blends
into eyes of water to see its fondest care
and she holds him in arms that lose nothing,
she loved his love
as expectant earth loves morning dew
and nurture of seedling flowers
She became drinking bees in season,
sun and rain;
fertile black cradle of seeds
blessed and beloved, eternal precious pearl.
He loved as she loved,
in completeness and without past or want,
for tomorrow would be lost forever
were it not for trickle of time
ever seeping through his long supple fingers
flowing fall of existence.
The needs that led to want,
wishes become wide and searching eyes
desires that paled the sun, hopes
that lit the moon like a butterfly of light
and he became the fascinated child
to chase fluttered forever in garden green;
his heart became a wall of ages
bearing the wisdom of all that passed
greatest halls, and choirs that echoed still
above the roar of his breath,
as he inhaled her.
Author notes
Inspired by:
Anunciação e Encontro de Mira-Celi by Jorge deLima
In a list
A contest entry
- Critiques by Melissa Gayle.
1650 points, ended September 4, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
The needs and passion of each are met. Yet in your words:
'He loved as she loved,
in completeness and without past or want,
for tomorrow would be lost forever'
For if there is love...it can never be lost, nor forgotten. Just completed, my friend. Great penning PK
~Sie
. Rewarded 6
-
I like it very much, but liked it more before editing. The effect that the repetition of 'She' had on the poem is little bit lost now. 'She' (the Mira Celi's inspiration) is after wall, or should be the very center of the poem. Still a very good read, wonderfully inspired
-
Love does beautiful things to the human soul when cupid give the a shot..LOL...Thank you for sharing your wonderful vivid talent...novy
-
Wow, I just have to comment on this. It moved me and spoke to me in so many ways. How Love can transform a person is truly amazing and wonderful. And your description of it was outstanding. Keep up this awesomeness.
~Eva
-
Little things here, not sure that I like that the first couple of stanzas start with she.
Also, stanza one feels a bit wordy from lines two through six.
I would consider removing just a few of those filler words, otherwise the piece is wonderfully done -
-
Thank you Melissa-
you have such a wonderful eye...will look at now...PK
-
-
She loved
with the lightness of wind that lifted
Loved the sounds in this poem and the way it rolls off the tongue and falls so gently on the ears. This poem just makes me feel warm inside...what a lovely scent of love to inhale before I go to bed...and dream. Beautiful.
~ Nicolette
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
