Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

I can't see the moon.


I can't see the moon
the thin fibers that hold me together strain against the tautness
the weight becomes unbearable
and I can't see the moon,following the sting,
and clouded by haze of my own making, I seek it,that feeling of discovery, of self worth
and I can't see the moon

wisps of smoke shelter me through the torrents,lost in agony, inconsolable
and I can't see the moon.Darkness crowds the dark thoughts,
suddenly you are out of reach
and I can't see the moon,life is just an illusion darlingbut I'll believe you if you tell me it isn't so
yet I still can't see the moon

I lost my trust, but never should have,I am not the one you feel
and I can't see the moon,I thought I found you, but you weren't there at all
somehow you forget I am next to you. your beauty obscures...and I still can't see the moon

all the anger I have felt slips through my fingertips
live while you can...because I can't see the moon

Paradise awaits on the other corner of life, knowing if you love a lot you'll find strength to sing alone,
and perhaps you will see the moon

there are a thousand things I want to say,but I can only think of one.

yet I still can't see the moon.

A contest entry

comments please.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Rhythm Child
    October 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    stunning......absolutely beautiful


  • JinSays gold member
    August 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is what I call raw baby. You did marvelous. I'm not sure about the repetition so often, maybe cut back on that a little?
    Okay, I thank you for entering this contest, and best wishes to you,
    jin


  • Yorkshire Rose
    August 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow, powerful and all there, so many ideas in this poem very well done