When we were young and at the start
You were such a sweetheart
You lived for me, cared for me
Setting my heart free
But oh how it did change
You now act so strange
Saying one thing then another
You make me want to run for cover.
I just don't get it no more
My heart so heavy there is no cure
I cant breathe when your here
I just want you to disappear
I don't know what I can do anymore
Everything has become an eyesore
I see no point in talking back
When no our relationship, love it does lack
You use and abuse
Not afraid to loose
I have nothing left of me
This you made sure when i gave you the key
Are you happy of how you are draining me?
Is this how you wanted us to be?
I cant fight no more, im so tired
I have to walk away now our love has expired
I need to fly higher than this
I need to feel charged in a sweet bliss
I cant let you kill me this way
So goodbye my love, this time i wont stay!
Author notes
Basically, Fights with my partner drains me...
A contest entry
- What drains you? by peter1.
450 points, ended August 19, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what ya think?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I agree with the previous posters. This poem is very sad and I'm sorry that a guy made you feel like this. You did an excellent job though in wording how you feel and letting out your pain. God bless you always in everything you do and write and I'm glad you know to rise above it. Keep up the excellent work.
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This is really, really, really sad and depressing...I think anyone who has had a relationship of any substance at all can relate with you when you said, "When we were young and at the start, You were such a sweetheart, You lived for me, cared for me, Setting my heart free...But oh how it did change..." Oh YEA EVERTHING changes after awhile...no more trying to impress and selfishness sets in...beware of that, but of course, you already know....good write, man...
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Oh, my dear I really love your effort here. I have to tell you on a realistic not that this is not what I was looking for. Your sentiment and all around energy was great, but I am a bit anal about things and I sincerely apologize, but I felt that your rhyming was forced and there was a certain stanza that had a major grammatical error. I'm so sorry, dear. I hope that this was not a write that was personal and in your heart. Your energy was fantastic, but it is just not what I was looking for right now. I'm sorry, dear.
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All in all i like it very much the beginning was nice and the ending expectacular....Its really is tire one must imagine to fall in love and then been trown...i like it..
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Your pain and confusion came across nicely.
Well done
Raker
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The ending is so sad, yet is strong! I never really understood myself on relationships, so there fore I stay away.
Best of luck in the contest!
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