i don’t dream
like i used to
it might have to do
with how gin and dark men
don’t mix
like sun and mud
and the thoughts that lay with me
when you can
not
and i hear fish talk
inside stone pagodas
about lights kept drowsy
of the girl that drinks in
moon and tonic
almost undressed
with eyes blinking
KEEP OFF
like shelves of expired sardines
but they shrug and flee to the little lighthouse
it is cold in the room and it sucks at
the winter bed and frosts shoes and wallets
flipping with faces of the dead and missing
and i think:
if i am clever
i will accept a fuck
as a token of appreciation
and lady no more this pouch of virtue
that a hand is as good as any hand
they can still touch
just like
you
it is true
need and want are
different
one is water
the other fire
and right now liquid men
are lined up in a glass row
they can have me
ten ways to sunday
and my thighs will say
nothing
not even a
no
and they will build a house
with their laughter
grope stars to light their wood
and cook with the fervor
of a french tongue
so my body
will open like a humid
wound
but still
i will not sleep
not even when they have
curled their backs
into a naked question
after they have finished
gracing their juices
for i know what waits
should i surrender
the tumbling of a shoulder
the salt of your eyes
and you will wash up against me
as starfish do
mouth singing
without sound
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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Fuck yeah
You always have had a good way of describing things and creating creative imagery. This piece was direct proof every analogy was excellent and I couldn;t find myself picking just one as favorite. I really liked the whole stanza that started need and want are
different
one is water
the other fire
it was shivery. Really great job with this one
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I adore how this sounds when read aloud. Especially the fourth stanza - read with a slight hip-hop beat and pause at the end...bloody brilliant.
THANK YOU!
Cheers! -
You have recieved a hellalot of praise for this praiseworthy piece.
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excellent
just when you thought i'd dropped off the face of the allpoetry, something called me back. it stirred, like frapalapacheno and toast. sure as death and taxes i clicked searching for you and found
"and i hear fish talk
inside stone pagodas"
never building homes with laughter.
I feel complete. i am home.
please dont mind the smell of the well-worn traveller's shoes and misplaced ID......
x0x
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This contained all the best lines in the contest. I laughed out loud at the audacity and cleverness
"liquid men are lined up in a glass row"
the girl who drinks "moon and tonic"
harking back to "gin and dark men don't mix"
This is a beautiful piece
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One day I hope I can write like this...fantastic
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you rawk pretty hard.
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My Dear Darcy,
These lines floor me. I see so much, feel even more...
"it is true
need and want are
different
one is water
the other fire"
It took me a measure of time to know the difference. As a spoiled "daddy's girl", my wants always exceeded my needs. LOL
The last stanza is my favorite. A delight to read and enjoy, ALWAYS!
Much Love ♥
Renee
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Hell, I can't even comment on this. My head's spinning like the chick's on the exorcist.
great reading
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Holy god.
I think my jaw just dropped three floors to my apartment's parking garage. I loved every single word of this poem. Seriously.
-joan.
.
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You know, of all your most latest pieces, this one has the fewest adjectives and, therefore, is now one of my favorites. lol (You know how I feel about adjective abuse) One problem I have is that each stanza has its own great finish or ending, and therefore, the final ending of the poem doesn't pack as much of a punch. I kept reading thinking "She could end the poem here, or here, or here...." lol because the endings of the stanzas were all exceptional. But, that's all I can bitch about. lol. And you know I can always find something to bitch about.
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"they can have me
ten ways to sunday
and my thighs will say
nothing
not even a
no"
This poem is in a different league all together.
Absolutely love curling the back like a naked question too
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another amazing write, like a tsunami, you blow it all away...I love the fish, the liquid images, the final two lines
I most love the freedom with which your pen moves
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There are some weird lines in here, flow wise...But really, you already knew I was going to say that...LOL. I loved the "to" and "do" rhyme at the beginning, which is strange for me, I know. That ending is fantastic though and yes, it reminds me of something I would write and after all, you said you wanted to be me when you grew up...
That's a good start. This is like spoken word fueled by the pen of a very sure woman, which I know you are. There are bits of this falling off everywhere and constricting, but there is also a sense of compassion for the wounds that heal too fast...I'm thinking you purr like a fucking motor sometimes and just let the words come out, with little fixing later. I could be wrong, but this feels very honest and somehow destructive. It moves like a hurricane, that's for sure.
;
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You have me on all fours picking up pieces of my brain on the floor when you blew my head with this poem...
This is one of the best poems I've read on AP. I think. I'm pretty sure. For the moment. Excellent stuff.
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it is true
need and want are
different
one is water
the other fire
and right now liquid men
are lined up in a glass row
oh hell yeah darce, this is great. gives me such a powerless feeling. oh, and that starfish imagery at the end has to be unparalleled..it is raw and fresh and i love it. but what else should i expect from you? lol..you work wonders babe.
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You write like nobody else...
excellent work. You leave me envious.
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damn
who the fuck is Scott
well I won't need the coffee to wake up
I heard so many voices in this, I know this will sound weird...Kinda like when Hendrix would play guitar and it sounded like two were playing...this is layered so
that one cannot wait to read the next line
love ya in that Hendrix way
peace and hugs
Richard
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Damn girrrrrrrrrllllllllll
Your talent is just fallin all out of you like rocks tumblin over a cliff
Shit fire!!!!
This is a good un...
♥Becky♥
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OH NO YOU DI'INT!
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Damn I think Scott will want to steal this and then live inside it for awhile Love, C
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