Them eyes of yours
The ones I was supposed to love
I can’t be a daddy’s little girl
Because I am afraid of daddy
I hate myself for looking like you
I have your nose that I have busted so many times
I have them lips
Which mock me everyday
Telling me I am nothing
Them eyes which I hate the most
For they remind me of the look you give me
every time you strike me
Same color as yours
Same shape
And position
These eyes which I can’t change
Every time I look in the mirror
Scars line my cheeks
But them scars isn’t as painful
As knowing I look like you
Knowing I belong to you
I remember when you got drunk
Came in the house yelling
I was only five
Mommy locked us in the room
Scooted our dresser in front of the door
Me and mother laid in bed
Listening to you scream
Saying you would kill us
We cried and I screamed
But mommy had that gun
She said that it would protect us
I remember it was forever
Until you left the house
Then I remember mommy
Walking out of the room
I peeked out of the door and saw her
The gun was supposed to protect her
So why did she use it herself
She took the pistol to her head
And that was the last time I saw mommy
She could no longer protect me
And I felt like nothing
I was now yours
And nobody could save me
I am still yours
Trapped at thirteen
I hide from your insanity
I stay locked in my room
But I can’t get away for you are in me
For your blood runs through my veins
I know how to fix this
Let the blood run
Let your DNA escape
One cut on the wrist
Deep and so painful
Yet enjoyable
Another cut across the leg
So clean
Yet red
Then the last
Across the throat
You tell me daddy
How does it look now?
Do I still look like you?
Can you see the fear in your eyes
When you realize what you did to me?
Well daddy
Just look into mine
every time you hit me
I remembered it
And now you will
A contest entry
- Critiques by Melissa Gayle.
1650 points, ended September 4, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
this poem has a lot of meaning behind it. my father and me r great now i love him dearly but i have seen so much happen to other children, i have dated a guy and he was choked by his father. so sad =(
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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the vernacular you use comes off as inauthentic.
it would read better straight forward.
i enjoyed the evasiveness of this poem.
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This is really really good..great..Can relate some ways alot...I really like this..Another great poem
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'Them eyes of yours' - 'those' would be the correct term.
You have way too much repetition of the smaller words, you could remove almost 90% of the flow would increase tenfold.
While I can feel the emotion, you have told me everything and shown me nothing. More imagery, something that would make this piece different than the next.
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oh..this is so incredibly sad..it hurt to read it.
it's so sad that this is such a reality for many.
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DaMn!!I hAv NuN 2sAy!!DiS wAs SoO PoWeRfUl N dEeP!!
iT wAs ReAlY rEaLy GuD!!i LuV dA WhOlE tHiNg!!ItS juS sOo sAd!!BuT iT hAppEnS 2aLoT oF cHiLdReN!!gReAt JoB!!
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