I pushed; you pulled
and all the groceries
we'd gathered
spattered on concrete
you folded arms
I became cross
and in that moment
we were so close
to "in agreement"
we shared
vinegar and glass
for two
tossed salad
A contest entry
- 50 Word PIF Contest by Riftkin.
525 points, ended August 16, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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that's kind of cute - a good sense of humor here.
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This is great and shows stubbornness... about like me.
Best of luck in the contest.
Riftkin
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Tank U
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I thought of tossed salad when I saw your title.
I read your title again & wondered why.
"I pushed; you pulled"
I think it could just be "I pushed/you pulled" on separate lines w/o a semicolon. The semicolon is very STARK against the lack of punctuation in the rest of the poem.
'spattered'<--is a cool word, yes?
"you folded arms/I became cross"
FUCKING BRILLIANT...
If Einstein was a poet, he'd write that.
LOOOOVE the wordplay here.
Witty & hilarious & evocative.
" "in agreement" "
Interesting quotation marks used. Sarcasm perhaps...
Tossed salad
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i won't tell you what my initial thought was when i saw the title...then i read it and i had to chuckle a bit...love the little movie that plays in my mind...then i got to the end...won't mention what vinegar made me think of either...love this one...you rock
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Oh this is very witty, lol if I counted the times I had had an argument over groceries lol well I'd never eat because I would have chucked every package at him, I find doing it alone saves time
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