My heart is like a shooting star,
I know not where it goes.
It travels o'er seas, land, and far
Past village and town it goes.
My heart knows not Who it looks for,
Or where this Who will be.
But I know when they find my heart,
They'll bring it back home to me.
Author notes
i haven't written in a few weeks...just a stab at getting the creative juices flowing
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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omgosh!
this is so short and it took me on such a magical ride. i wanna go again and again and again! i loev this poem so much, you penned it with such beautiful, and meaningful words
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This honestly rocks!!
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Oh, this is so cute. Yes, I feel this is definitely true.
One thing, here in the last stanza:
'But it knows that when they find my heart,
They'll bring it back home to me.'
there's more syllables than you need, perhaps a chance to get more personal is here. Something like,
"But I know when they find my heart,
They'll bring it back home to me.
or leave out the "that"
just some thoughts
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I really enjoyed this. I, too, know that one day love will find me, and 'til then I just keep on living with my best outlook. Great job!
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Nice write. I think it's a well written piece that flows quit well. My only minor thought was that the third line seemed a bit wordy for the rhythm. Might be something to consider editing, though I think it's a solid piece as is.
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hmmm yeah i know wht u mean, that line was bothering me too. I'll probably just remove the 'and'. thanks tho
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Simple and beautiful poem that says a lot. It is not easy sometimes to say something in as little words as you have, zammy, but you manage it quite well. Title is fitting, the start and finish just perfect. I can't see anywhere in this piece that needs changing. Good work.
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