Basalt etched
by time
grown hard.
The sea’s dance
tide torn and froth clad
leaves her last wash
to high light the stains
rouged silver
fingered by the moon.
Clouds scud
sails at night
tattooed by Selene
heavy with Ceres’ milk.
luna
full
laden
dreams
stumbling
drunken slumber.
Man makes his hard bed
etches his face with salt
stretches to hear
bones crack.
Woman smiles
knows the moon
hides its wisdom in her
to tickle secrets from Venus
when the morning
first cries.
Come hold the moon
your wings and coos
keep the doves from war.
11:52 AM
08-16-08
Alexandria, VA
Author notes
The picture credit is: 5000 Moons Back, the Artist is Max Ash.
A contest entry
- It Must be the Moon part III by j i n.
1000 points, ended August 18, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think, what it makes you feel, how you are moved.
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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you've penned a truly lovely poem here...rich with imagery and metaphor...word choice exquisite in the variation and texture you've created...
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The forever of balsalt and the moment of clouds. Humans dance at both ends of time. I share a couple of quotes from Heschel in light of this:
. . . we must be able to say no to ourselves in the name of a higher yes. pg. 40
Animals are content when their needs are satisfied; man insists not only on being satisfied but also on being able to satisfy, on being a need. . . Personal needs come and go, but one anxiety remains:Am I needed? There is no man who has not been moved by that anxiety. pg. 43
The only way to avoid despair is to be a need rather than an end. Happiness, in fact, may be defined as the certainty of being needed. But who is in need of man? pg. 45
. . . Man has more to give than what other men are able or willing to accept. pg. 46
Man is not an innocent bystander in the cosmic drama. There is in us more kinship with the divine than we are able to believe.
The souls of men are candles of the Lord, lit on the cosmic way, rather than fireworks produced by the combustion of nature's explosive compositions, and every soul is indispensible to Him. Man is needed, he is a need of God. pg. 49
These all play in this in subtle ways. As a friend of mine says, he finds the spiritual in all my poems for I am a spiritual man
Peace & LIght,
Tom B.
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a little lunarcy?
There are such vivid images and comparisons between nature and men and women in this poem, Tom. I think men are so busy protecting their families from the elements they often have a different perspective from their feminine counterparts. But when it all comes together it is magic, and the majesty of creation speaks to those who will listen.
This is unusual and I think the picture inspired your pen beautifully.
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Beautiful review. I liked how this pulled me into a different sense of tide and time. I hope I provided more than just the picture without limiting the viewers vision of what the picture could provide.
Love,
Tom B.
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Thanks. I love the words of this piece. I need a new title.
Love, Tom B.
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That picture was perfect; a lovely compliment to this amazing work of art. You must have a dictionary handy because you always seem to find the perfect words to compliment every image; its striking and leaves the reader craving more. You did amazing on this but I suppose you don't need yet another person telling you how great you are at poetry
Hope your doing well and that your not going too crazy without much to do
-Jordanne
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I was stunned by the picture and the poem errupted once the first three lines spoke to me. My vocabulary comes from reading, crosswords, a good english teacher my sophmore year in high school and just using words to bring clarity. If you spent gold and expected so little back, like the way we communicate, would you be surprised at how quickly you became poor. I need all the feed back I can get. Not to assuage my ego but to increase the clarity of my vision. Seeing better is not about 20/20, it is about being able to see deeply into what is before you and becoming at peace with all of it.
Love, Tom B.
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Again WOW
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Thanks. For many I seem to be obscure or perhaps to heady. I am glad you can enjoy these tastes of my vision.
Love, Tom B.
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Wheeeeeeeeew
You please me enormously with this. I did not expect to find you behind that crazy title, and look there you are!
LOL
This is absolutely wonderful. I say tht alot about your writes, huh?
Wonderful,
jin
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I chose to work with mystery and time and how the moon is entwined through all of it.
Love, Tom B.
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I loved the use of a wide vocabulary! Didn't really enjoy the sort of listing of words in the centre of the poem but i guess its just a matter of personal taste haha.. keep up the good work!
. Rewarded 4
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Language is a poets pallette. I search often for just the right colors to light up my page. Thanks for the comments.
I lay my poems out to support the way I would read them out loud. Then when I am at an open mic, I can read fresh without a great deal of rehearsal.
Love, Tom B.
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high light -> highlight?
hilight / rouged silver, confused me. Is it one or the other? Them seem a bit separate to me.
'luna / full /laden' - felt too much like a list. I did like the overall words though, just not the one-per-line-ness.
"Man makes" -> "He makes"? Introducing the first speaker as 'Man' seems too general. Once I see 'Woman' i get your yin/yang idea a bit, but still.
Why ending with the date/place?
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In art a high light is an accent created by giving something more presence. the accent in this case the rouged silver. The second a matter of personal taste. Man is man, the male species and woman woman and again it appears as a matter of taste. I end every poem with the time I finished my first draft, the date of the first draft and the place where it was written. My own quirk. I like lists by the way. Thanks for taking the time to look at the trees in my forest of words and for sharing your thoughts. It is a gift of time and effort I appreciate and value.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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Stunning imagery here my dear friend...so wonderful to see your words dancing across page again...smiles
I adore this write and the photo is just incredible...
Many blessings to you..
~A~
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I appreciate the support, Melissa. It has been a little harder lately while recovering from the eye surgery. Glad you enjoyed.
Love, Tom B.
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WOW
A piece worth reading more than once...great imagery.
Nevadapoet
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Thanks. I appreciate the compliment.
Love, Tom B.
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Oh my goodness...hwo pwoerful this is
"Man makes his hard bed
etches his face with salt
stretches to hear
bones crack.
Woman smiles
knows the moon
hides its wisdom in her
"
and then the ending...... to keep doeves fromw ar.....wowowowowowowowowowowowow Bravo!!!!!
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I can not waste my strength so I speak now to my experience not my exploration and discovery. It is a different muscle that controls the pen.
Love, Tom B.
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Vivid picture - poem filled with vivid images as well. Been gone a week so nice to comeback to read some of your lovely words. Thought the ending very fitting in today's society.
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Thanks. I am rarely moved by a picture -- for some reason, this one hit me between the eyes.
Love, Tom B.
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Great Depiction.......
Of this picture....I can see how you derived these words from the photo!!!You have such a tremendous grasp with words it is just amazing...theimagery yu paint without the picture is compelling and the picture was just the icing on the cake!!! Thanks for sharing this amazing piece with me tonight!!!~~Toni~~
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the picture spoke to me and I thought i would share the conversation
Thanks for enjoying the simple vision of my sharing.
Love,
Tom B.
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We can but try to capture the moon and see past its beauty and sing to it. If I stand still at night and cup my hand I can hold it, the illusionary trick that it sits snuggled in the warmth. I too would hold the world that way if I was able. You know me too well
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Oh the magic in the spell and so soft you would coo to carry away the wounds and scars. Nuzzle the deep blue and the rich green. Spin a spell across the land to have each human understand the hear and soul of good choice and how to allow each human a clear and stunning voice.
Love, Tom B.
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Within the Essenes of time and life we move with what effects us...the elements touch, love caresses and a new day is born within usyour words move me my Master Poet...you are a winner in my book! Niaish for sharing with me your wonderful mind
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We are found in the source of being. All the rest is but the layers of time that we have created with. I find myself exploring how we, humans, relate to our experience and use it to create value and become artists at living.
Love, Tom B.
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Stunning Write
Ah that beautiful orb that enchances us all in one way or another. You have captured the essence in vivid words of of it's affect...it has on the tides & man; she moves the waters tidal.... and the heart to love....excellent write.......novy
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I was caught by the picture. Given my recent experiences, I have been playing with how we are marked and moved by the world around us. Who we are is in the response and relationship to the events and behaviors. Glad you felt this one so deeply.
Love,
Tom B.
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