You have always been the sunrise
that brings a surge of
desire and contentment to my soul.
The path of fallen petals
line my heart
as it sighs into your spirit.
You caress my thoughts
and the world is swept away
upon rivers of
crystal clear contentment.
My heart has expanded,
it's roots firmly planted
within your core.
But, if one day,
I feel these roots have loosened,
I must sever that connection
to save myself.
For the winds of autumn augur
a solitary sadness.
Yet while
the nectar of your passion flows
and your fingers curl and curve
all of me,
the vine of fulfillment
shall continue to weave
a cloak of magic memories.
As long as your love is mine,
I shall grasp every sunset.
Author notes
Thank you so much for this opportunity to participate xx
Prompt - If You Forget Me by Pablo Neruda
I want you to know
one thing.
You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.
Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.
If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.
If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.
But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine
In a list
A contest entry
- Invite Only! For Those I Consider Some Of The Best Writers On The Site ! by Cupcrazy.
3500 points, ended September 18, 2008, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Beautiful!
"The path of fallen petals
line my heart
as it sighs into your spirit."
so lovely and then the ending which left me in a sigh...Language is beautiful throughout...
TY for entering !
Lynda
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This has such a melancholy feel, a sigh of wistfulness almost. Funny the Neruda poem reminded me of that first love feeling, where you were afraid that love was gonna drift away, so you held back that oath of commitment from self so as to protect oneself from heartbreak. It's like saying I love you, but I can get over you, cause I don't love you really that deeply, while all the time the inside self knows you are going to die a little each day with the loss. I am wandering, lol, wonderful piece Gaylene, loved it and an excellent take on the prompt.
Hugs, Bunny
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nicely penned
the uncertainty of certainty, love is so beautiful yet so unpredictable, we don't always have a voice .... love is it's own entity, best to be savored while we can taste its fruit. beautiful poem
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Lovely stuff. roots in his core,curl and curve, vine of fulfillment, and so many others..just beautiful images and feeling evoked.
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Beautiful Gaylene. Love your imagery and metaphor.
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You used the prompt well here...
Some killer lines and word use throughout this piece.
Great ending
As long as your love is mine,
I shall grasp every sunset.
♥Becky♥
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"if one day, I feel these roots have loosened." An excellent look at the realities of love. The endless possibilities of truly being touched by another combined with the idea that such loves may not endure.
Yet while love flourishes it is foolish to think otherwise, and better to, 'grasp every sunset'.I enjoyed reading this, thank you.
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Outstanding "winds of autumn augur a solitary sadness." Lovely metaphor in "while the nectar of your passion flows and...vine of fulfillment shall continue." Interesting counterpoints in "you have always been the sunrise" and "I shall grasp every sunset." Very nice!
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"As long as your love is mine,
I shall grasp every sunset."
Love that couplet, Gaylene.
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Thank you so much for your wonderful words and applause They are very much appreciated
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No charge.
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Excellent
Wow such a truly amazing piece. So very well done. Best of luck in the contest.
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To think of someone so well, and deeply, I simply don't know how it could ever be at an end. Wonderful tribute to an obviously center in your existance.
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