Burning the candle at both ends
lights a beacon for bleak disappointment;
Shame wraps long, bony fingers ‘round my neck,
dragging Perseverance through the
Ashen aspirations of a failure.
Author notes
Yup, I messed up. Yet again, illness and incompetence stole from me something I have more than earned. Here you are... misery on paper. *sigh*
A contest entry
- I hope I never feel this... by Cannonsfire.
1750 points, ended August 21, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poetry, Poetry and PreWrites! by Lost Vampyre Angel.
1200 points, ended September 13, 2008, 339 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ashamed to be Human by Death of the Author.
450 points, ended August 31, 2008, 34 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me Something Sad by LittleDecoy.
900 points, ended August 31, 2008, 85 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your All Time Best by Night Terrors.
400 points, ended May 22, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Let me know what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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that was short but very powerful.
The Positives:
I really loved this great job
Room For Improvement:
Nothing I can see you did wonderful
My Favorite Part:
dragging Perseverance through the
Ashen aspirations of a failure.
A powerful ending
Overall:
I give this a 8/10 you did great. I hope to see you in my future contests thanks so much for entering.
~*~Apathetic Poison~*~ -
i really liked this.
short but to the point and great emotion.
thanks for entering & good luck -
This really hit me and I can't explain why...
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I feel your disappointment through your poem, I really do and you must be commended for making such a short write as powerful as it is. Wow...
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It depends what you see as failure.I see an inner strength in this write that says you won't give up.I am sure incompetence doesn't come into it.When we are ill we can't focus properly.Concentrate on getting properly well and then try again, Ros
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Sounds a bit deep for shallow but then sometimes I guess shallowness is the inability to see the disappointment or the failure until it's too late. Love, C
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