A memory is stirring within the churning sea
The Moon plays on the water whilst whispering "it's me",
"I'm rolling back the covers to be with you once more
So you can dance together and rebuild your rapport".
The sand reveals her anguish as Moon rolls back the tide
With tender undulations the sea gives back her pride
They flow along together as castles they rebuild
Each one a special symbol of dreams once un-fulfilled.
As ocean meets the shoreline he smooths her furrowed brow
So full of understanding he's not felt until now
He heaves a sigh of sadness and kisses wounds away
Within him moon reflecting the things he has to say.
Night hands across the waters are joined on this day
For sea and land united create a grand display
The moon in all her glory has made good her repair
She smiles down at her children,"you know I'm always there".
A contest entry
- It Must be the Moon part III by JinSays.
1000 points, ended August 18, 2008, 17 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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this poem is outstandingly beautiful and so worthy of your gold...I shall read it over and over...thankyou...Lulu
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Many thanks, Ros
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Why didn't I comment on this? I know I read it. I liked so much I put it up in fianls list, and I look again, and it has no comment.
This is fantastic, truly the story you tell is a sweet one, I'm impressed by every line here.
Best wishes to you,
jin
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Loved it!
This poem speaks to me of love and compassion, of tenderness and togetherness, of introspection and making things new again. I can see it all in my mind as the lines unfold.
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A very beautiful work, subtle rhyme, it comes up on you like a sunrise. I like the way it flows out.
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WOW
Absolutely amazing! I love every line of this its beautiful and totally flawless. Good luck in the contest though you wont need it im sure
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Thankyou for your appreciation
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Wonderful...
I enjoyed the story and the rhyming sequence here. It also had a nice amount of 'light' humor (if you don't mind me saying so). Wonderful imagery as well. This was easy to read and flowed very nicely...thanks for posting this and good luck in the contest.
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Interesting read. It has the feel of prose with the rhyme of a poem, quite clever! I think these types of poem are more difficult than people think. Good attempt. (Did you mean 'rapport' in the last word of the first stanza?)
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Thankyou for pointing out my typo
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a lovely story, and for someone who is more at home with a ten syllable count, I had to read this like I would a book, I am novice you know. Refelective thought would be allowed for 12-15 syllables, like the ramblings of the tides and the monotonous sway of each line exacts. This is purely castles in the air stuff. Enjoyed immensely. "The moon in all her glory has made good her repair". That sums it all up.
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