distance measured
in phrases spun
sandy courses dune grass patches
breadth of days
separate trails
warmth of silent footprints pressed
in shifting grains
of memories
settled breezes
closeness won
distance served us once again
seeping, as it will, into the bones
A contest entry
- some examples of distance by Nicolette.
1500 points, ended September 1, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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"distance measured
in phrases spun"
Lovely, lovely, lovely. I love that idea - indeed phrases can work to both eliminate and heighten that feeling of distance. And oh, how it seeps into the bones. I think that is what inspired this contest, distance is like a third party that lives with us and breeds all sorts of emotion. Really enjoyed this entry.
Thanks for sharing
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This is such a tight piece of writing - not a word wasted here - and I do appreciate it when a poet can achieve brevity and word-economy without losing anything regarding impact and quality. This poem is indeed more simplistic than some of your other poems that I've read but, like I've said earlier, the contents go the distance. I liked the image of warm footprints in the soft sands... and the seemingly contradictory phrases of "distance won" and "closeness won" - very thought-provoking! A good piece of writing - thank you for sharing it with us in the contest.
~ Nicolette


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You have an unusual focus in your piece that I admire. Obviously you planned each word instead of placing it. I find that when I write, it is with no particular purpose or object in mind. I just work off of what comes out. This read with purpose. Well done!


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simpler in content or delivery I wonder... don't tell me in personal relationships!
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kinda reminds me of a simpler time. good job ^^
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