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Washington State(Sonnet)

Serenely scenery scrolls new direction
Westward to beauty's soft dream pacific
And bounty's cherry blossoms prolific
Overthrowing time by insurrection

 

Eyes expose clarity's sweetened reward 

As foreseen landscape's majestic milestones

Dismiss what simple sanity condones

Where truth's ripened fruit remains fully stored

 

Merged with apricot fantasies divine

Pressed as succulent grapes of vintage high

To produce envisioned forever sigh  

By this love grown on reality's vine

 

Washington may be just another place

Yet there I shall feel my lover's embrace

 

Author notes

DOOR NUMBER THREE

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 17 of 17
  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    August 16, 2008

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    I think this is great and soon you will be there and be really happy I wish only the best for you both cause I love you muchly


  • Dalaney gold member
    August 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply


  • Cannonsfire
    August 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You do these so damn well I am envious lol although I try I get lost in the syllable count and forget the rest. Well done Bro.


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    August 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Solid Sonnet Cerulean...I have grandkids in Washington state, lately it's been hot as hell there I understand. Tell Ash mj said hey.


    Wish you two all the best!
    mj


  • notorious
    August 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I saw Lane's contest & freaked out.
    I'm afraid to disappoint her.
    I don't think you could.

    "Serenely scenery scrolls new direction"
    I think you could use a comma after 'Serenely' for better flow or otherwise make it "Serene scenery".

    I like the "new direction" themes explored. Makes me think of your own life LoL.

    'westward' is a kick-ass word.

    'pacific' & 'prolific'...clever rhymes.
    But I like your freeverse better

    "Overthrowing time by insurrection"
    'overthrowing'...I actually like this gerund, but it could also be 'overthrows'. Maybe? 'insurrection' is a beautiful word...I don't even use the word 'beautiful'. Grr.

    "Eyes expose"
    Love.

    "clarity's sweetened reward"
    Nice possessive form.
    'sweetened reward' is good, too.

    'milestones' & 'condones'=another nifty rhyme from you

    "vintage high"
    Love that.

    Too lazy to comment on the rest.
    Suffice to say I liked it.



  • Blooming Poet
    August 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful poeem bro. are you from washington


    • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
      August 15, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Nope but I am moving there.

      Thanks


      • jcat gold member
        August 16, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Yuck!!! I know why you move here but all I can say is you will be running for Florida quickly!!! Yuck...yuck...yuck!!! But happy that your happy

1 - 17 of 17