It's no compliment to be among lovers of my choosing.
I've always preferred danger, you're merely my way of losing.
I don't deny our passion, imply your're not extant.
Darling, you are the pending past; my love is only lent.
Yours is one of many insipid books I've read before.
But summer wanes; I'll be shopping in an upscale store.
In this time and place you're the best I can get.
Seasons change, I'll be looking for a better fit.
If you find me shallow, somewhat superficial.
Not to worry, my lust for you isn't artificial.
Imagine my disappointment, thinking you so fine
To wake and find joy due only to superb wine.
In this bed, on the beach you satisfy my taste.
Let's love each other slowly, but depart in haste.
Author notes
Prompt B. Dorthy Parker: For an unknown woman. An attitude born of experience.
A contest entry
- 130 titles by xxRainbowDawnxx.
525 points, ended August 21, 2008, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A Lost Love by Corinthians13-4.
520 points, ended September 11, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dalaney no. 10 'Goodbye' by Sue Cardwell.
1750 points, ended September 21, 2008, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Source of muse from the greats! by City-of-Angels.
425 points, ended October 16, 2008, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I love constructive critism, please indulge.
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Very nice. The writing really reminds me of Dorothy Parker too. Unique peice, sorry I'm just now getting around to reading it! Good luck thanks for entering this!
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Lovely long lines and some terrific poetic phrases. With some more attention to flow and meter you are in danger of being one of the best writers on the site.
This contest ends our series but we both hope you continue to rhyme and flow and look out for more "Dalaney" branded contests and others we will run alongside them, although I think you will soon have developed well past the "beginners at rhyme and flow" stage.
Keep rhyming and flowing
Jeff and Sue
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thank you so much for your sage and encouraging advice.
I've taken it and am paying more attention to both.
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I enjoyed this tongue in cheek look at your Lover of the Month(season) Club. This is often thought of to be a mans pursuit but you have shown it to be a uni-sexual practice. We done, cleverly written. This appears to be written in one of the sonnet forms, how creative!
Dennis
P.S. In the title I believe the word your perhaps should be spelled you're
I also believe the word you wanted in the first line is compliment.
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Yup, some people think that because you say you care, you're theirs forever, but it's not always the way. Especially if someone treats you like crap, you can do better. Someone I know should REALLY read this.
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