If Only...

If only you could see me now,
Hissing at the day,
Never sleeping in the night,
My fears have gone away,

If only you could see me now,
Refusing to go out in light,
It's not my fault, it hurts my eyes,
Because it is far too bright.

If only you could see me now,
Edging towards a blade,
To cut deep into my wrists,
Because now, I'm not afraid.

If only you could see me now,
Harming myself for blood,
Wanting more and more each day,
It gets me out of the mud.

If only you could see me now,
Angry, violent and dark,
Always striking at anyone close,
Anything can trigger the spark.

If only you could see me now,
Clawing at my door,
Biting my fingers and biting my wrists,
To get the liquid I adore.

If only you could see me now,
I know what you would say,
"Vampire, oh hell, what has she done?
What has made her this way?"

I'll tell you once and once alone,
Of what cruel things have been done,
Bitches and bullies have taunted me,
And this blood thirst has only begun.

The cruel words being spoken,
And words I cannot take,
I know what I'm doing now,
And I don't think this is a mistake.

I'll drink until I'm drunken,
And I can't drink no more,
For all the things that's happened to me,
I'm turning to blood and gore.

Mother, Father, Gran and more,
Would be disgusted in me,
But I don't care, this is my life,
My choice, now can you see?

Accept me for who I am,
Or don't accept at all,
For I'm lonely as hell can be,
And I know that I will fall.

My love for blood is binding,
My lust for dark is great,
My 'Vampireness' is who I am,
And I don't care if me you hate.

I can't help myself,
Emo, well, maybe,
But sure as sure as I do know,
This vampire's still me.