In the light I slept
in silence awoke
no body to tether me
consiousness etheral as smoke
Energy all about me
and yet alone I am
though a crowd is gathered
alone I stand
All are enthralled
collective breath is held
this single mystic moment
all mankind begins to meld
Author notes
couldn't resist the lame rhyming pattern Sorry
A contest entry
- Pic Prompt by Amythest Moonjade.
650 points, ended August 19, 2008, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Was it worth the 20 seconds involved to read?
Comments
-
Merry meet,
First off, thank you for entering my contest.
This is a really incredible poem. I was hoping someone would go with the mystical aspect of an eclipse.
To be honest, I never noticed the rhyme pattern. I don't judge on the rhyme pattern, unless it is really noticable and interfers with my reading of the poem outloud, this doesn't.
I don't really have a suggestion to change or possible make the poem better.
Again, thank you for entering my contest.
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