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The Meeting

I first met him
in a chipped blue bathtub

the night after daddy died -

washcloth over my eyes,
pain in my head

I was much older
than I had any right to be.

When he lowered himself
into Mr. Bubbles


and tickled my chin

I instinctively knew
what was really going down


but It didn’t matter to me,
he could have it

he could have anything
that wasn’t already gone -

so while he soaped up
his long lean arms

and described to me

a brand new life

I held my breath
went under water

watched my skinny soul
cling to the drain ~

Author notes

I was twelve years old when I first met the devil...
I am 34 years old now and still
fighting for my soul...

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 44 of 44

  • Matt E. Smith gold member
    May 3

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    This is one of my favourite poems by you. This is just so...real. stark and painful. you have the ability to make people really FEEL your words. I feel your words more than I feel much else.

    my favourite line:

    "I was much older
    than I had any right to be."

    it is sad when you have your childhood ripped away like that.


  • Lj-
    August 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I really like how this reads, like it just cuts through to the reader.

    Thank you for your entry,
    Best of luck!


  • unmasked synergy
    August 26, 2008

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    oh my...
    the author notes in itself is poetry
    an astounding conclusion to a painfully honest literature
    un~


  • Balldinger silver member
    August 20, 2008

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    follow up...

    such a raw face fist. an undeniable struggle to retain what is rightfully yours. how does one fight for their own soul?


  • arafura gold member
    August 18, 2008
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    So good it's hard to believe. Raw and powerful and honest! BRAVO!

  • ea silver member
    August 17, 2008

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    This is so creepy and at the same time, heart wrenching. I have been watching Japanese horror movies lately like Ju-on2 and Dark Water and that's what this gives me the feeling of - a living murder -


  • JohnnyD gold member
    August 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply

  • tara wilson gold member
    August 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply


  • nordicsky silver member
    August 16, 2008

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    To offer only unkindness and cruelty at a time when you needed love and compassion is beyond my comprehension. I would gladly break every bone in his body, yet I feel sad that a human being could sink so low.

    This one chilled me.

    Love, Peter


  • The Unknown Poet1
    August 16, 2008

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    you are amazing, lane. I was 14 *shrugs* I think one of that lessons one must learn as an old soul is unconditional love andd the onnly way to have that opportunity is to be trespassed upon so that we may have the chance to be able to learn to forgive and unconditionally love...... mostly ourselves


  • sailor ptolema
    August 16, 2008

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    This was one of those things that I generally read in a thriller fiction novel, where my heart was racing because I knew something bad was going to happen. I think you are one of those people who fight to win, Lane. To say this is exceptional, is a gross understatement.

    Meg~


  • whits end silver member
    August 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "I was much older
    than I had any right to be."
    I really, really like that part.
    Nice work, as always!


  • EvilKate
    August 16, 2008

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    The end to this was such a rich metaphor, so simple yet not. A little like you perhaps ... but no one but you can speak to that, so I'll say no more there.

    The way you captured innocence in this, so easily done and then, turned without melodrama - made vivid as the terrible thing it was - this is a skill. That you had that experience is not right. It never will be. That you could take it and make such poetry, that is - and it always should be.

    I sit in awe of such strength. Don't you ever fail to see just how strong you are.




  • moonbumps silver member
    August 16, 2008

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    I am lost for words-I could not even begin to put into words - oh Lane-this is incredible-
    Hilly xxx


  • tomisb
    August 16, 2008
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  • malmadre gold member
    August 16, 2008

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    I just read another poem about a fight, when it's all over..character is still standing. You are already a winner..


  • apoeticinjustice gold member
    August 16, 2008

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    I don't have the words to adequately comment on this piece...I echo what other readers have said, you're a treasure on AP and I'm glad I'm able to come here and read your amazing work.
    Rory


  • cricketjeff gold member
    August 16, 2008

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    My real comment is in a sonnet, but I have to attach a comment to the poem itself, heartbreaking background and brilliant portrayal attached to a glimpse into life now and the future.

    You are the reason I stayed on AP, I have now spent almost a year trying to capture a slice of anything with even a pale shadow of your style.
    You were my first favourite on AP a choice I cannot see any reason to regret!


  • Cup-a-Joe
    August 16, 2008

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    It's a Constant fight,Lane. Don't give up the fight.
    Enjoyed this peek into your past. I so enjoy looking.
    Joe


  • Riamh
    August 16, 2008
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    I was much older
    than I had any right to be.

    A wonderful line! A great poem.


  • Peteskid gold member
    August 15, 2008

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    some things leave us and we heal, but what remains- even though stronger- is always still a little broken...more a feeling here than a poem, i think...PK


  • moluv10
    August 15, 2008

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    i am in awe of your writing here Lane! This is brilliant! It's like i was experiencing all that with you. Best of luck in the contest.


  • notorious
    August 15, 2008

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    You manage to turn real-life events into something real for everyone. How the hell do you do that?

    "I first met him"
    I love the beginnings of your poems--they are always executed in a way that makes me read the rest of it (though I would anyways even w/o a hook).
    To be honest, I'm thinking of Satan here. I must be wrong, but I recognize the deepness. LoL

    "chipped blue bathtub"
    Nice and non-patronizing description...

    "I was much older
    than I had any right to be."
    A simple statement with so much meaning a bottle would break if you tried to store intensity in it.
    WOW

    "Mr. Bubble Land"
    This would be comical...but not here.

    "he could have it"
    Ack, I sense an unhealthy amount of vulnerability here.

    "so while he soaped up
    his long lean arms

    and described my brand new life

    with a few minor changes

    I held my breath
    went under water

    watched my skinny soul
    cling to the drain ~"
    This entire ditty is BLOODY AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    It's raw, painful, real & poignant.

    You kick poetry's ass. Honestly.


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    August 15, 2008

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    I have always said that one of the reasons why I came to AP was to learn how to write good poetry. It helps me to deal with 'my' haunting past and you are a great inspiration Lane, thank you for this fine poetry.


    All the best,
    with much love,
    mj.


  • ten thousand cicadas gold member
    August 15, 2008
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    You are amazing, Lane. We all love you for it.


    • Dalaney gold member
      August 15, 2008
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      do you know what that means to me? I hope you do. Love, Lane


  • zochit2me gold member
    August 15, 2008

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    You write with impact Lane...
    More than most and just enough to make one stop and think.



    ♥Becky♥


    • Dalaney gold member
      August 15, 2008
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      becky... I feel the same way about your writing. Thank you so much. Love, Lane


  • Thomas Scott gold member
    August 15, 2008
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    Good stuff.

    Good luck in the contest.


    • Dalaney gold member
      August 15, 2008
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      Hey Buffo to you, too I always love seeing you here, Tom. Love, Lane


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    August 15, 2008

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    My mouth has gone dry reading this. I think sometimes you just reach the parts of a reader no other poet can reach, and you hold us there until we remember to breathe.


  • BehindTheShadow
    August 15, 2008
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    Such a powerful, emotional piece-penned to perfection!


  • Pure Thought silver member
    August 15, 2008

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    My Lady

    Your soul is entwined in our hearts
    from your sharing of beauty, joy and pain.
    We read it, feel it and love it.
    You are admired and loved world over.


  • ravensgift
    August 15, 2008
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    So much emotion in this... amazing


  • daviscth silver member
    August 15, 2008

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    You never make me fail to stop and think with your heart provoking poems. This one gave me goosebumps....
    I love you Lane.


  • Sesheta
    August 15, 2008

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    Everytime I read your words, I find something new, something powerful, something beautiful, and something that leaves its impression on me.

    "I was much older / than I had any right to be & "he could have anything / that wasn’t already gone" & the end and the notes...Chilling, saddening, eye-opening...lingering.


  • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
    August 15, 2008

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    You... write about things which are far too common in uncommon ways.


    • notorious
      August 15, 2008
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      Buahahahah I LOVE your comments Mark. You're too witty.


    • Dalaney gold member
      August 15, 2008
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      ...i'm not your average bear, Boo Boo


  • JustSimplyLissa gold member
    August 15, 2008
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    This is so incredibly raw. Beautiful and heart rendering. Lovely write Dalaney!


    • Dalaney gold member
      August 15, 2008
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      JSL~ Many many thanks for the read and for the smile you put on my face tonight. Love, Lane

      • JustSimplyLissa gold member
        August 15, 2008
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        Anytime Lane, I actually read quite a bit, and often find it hard to put my feelings in words when it comes to describing how it impacted me.

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