"Listen Fucker!
I've got your card,"
two short blinks,
the smile is hard.
"Get out of my face!
I'm sick of your shit,"
The scowl stands up,
but cracks a bit.
"Just back off!
I don't want to hear it,"
the rage is glorious,
yet some how I fear it.
"It's bullshit!
And it don't wash anymore,"
the power consumes me,
shudders me to the core.
"It's over!
Yeah that's right, I'm out,"
the twitching of lips,
disguises my pout.
I point, I frown,
snarl, then growl,
punch at the air,
let out a self-redeeming howl.
And the tears that rain out
are gorgeous and perfect,
but it's only a mirror
if only you'd heard this.
A contest entry
- toxic waste rainbows and self-destructing love letters. by deadpixie020.
900 points, ended August 16, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me hope, tell me about Abuse. by Cyanide Dreams.
1500 points, ended January 25, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I had to read this a bit to catch on. I like poems with deep meanings. So what I got from it was self-abuse. And you're finally overcoming it. Nice write and great imagery and flow. I'm glad you entered this and good job.
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okay so when i read the first stanza i was really unsure about it, the style and everything, but the last stanza tooootally made up for that. it made so much more sense, so when i reread it i was like oohhhhh, fantastic
and the rhyme didn't feel totally forced, which was awesome... a lot of the time i get rhyming poems and they sound like the writer was sitting there with a thesaurus, trying to get the beats right and everything, but it still feels off. this wasn't like that. props to you
good luck in the contest! -
Reading this poem over again changes the whole meaning for me, and makes it even more powerful. I especially love that last line; the images this evokes and the emotions I feel are really amazing. The rhyme also impressed me.
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