In silence with her back against the wall,
she prays this night is almost at an end,
for misery has caught her in its thrall,
a fate the lucky could not comprehend.
Then he appears and reaches for her hand
requesting that she partner for the dance.
She rises, feeling legs too weak to stand
and senses first sweet flutters of romance.
A contest entry
- Two Four Line Stanzas - Rhyme and Meter Only by Frodofan.
425 points, ended August 29, 2008, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
How do you think I could improve this poem?
Comments
-
Just dreamy, gal. She knows, but she can't even begin to know. Love it.
-
A beautiful write. Lovely form and meter. Good flow, rhyme and tone. Lovely depth of feeling. You paint a very nice picture of first romance. Check line 2 in your first stanza - third word from the end of the line should be "at". Other than that this is a fine write. Best wishes in the contest.
-
This is incredibly sweet!!! I find this as a lovable piece like the flounderings of a teenager, or preteen at their first dance... So sweet. Thanks for sharing!
-
Very nice. Check secopnd line for typo though.
Topic works well for two stanzas. Very nice and hopeful. Thanks for entering.
Adding your comment:
