with my olive tinted skin, I am no match for you.
your beautiful complexion.
full of gold.
and you've got the gift of word,
if not at least the gift of power.
they all think you better
than what they have now...
I do.
and I can see the comparison in his eyes.
I can see him compare my frosted kisses to
warm ones of years past.
I can see it in their fingertips...
in this little box
you are valued more than us.
you don't deserve the gifts you have
to be wasting them on him....
you don't deserve the gift you have to still be complaining.
if I had your gift...
well at least I'd have his love...
Author notes
envy
i dont think its that good
and it needs some work but
i think it was going to a good place...
A contest entry
- The Seven Deadly Sins by Genesis.
1200 points, ended August 20, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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I'm a little lost.
I wanna know the back story
or you to explain more in your authors
notes, so I can connect to it more. -
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its just about me enveying soemone
i think i made the story up in my head
its about how everyone thinks this person is great but they really arent
and how we all worship her but i dont see it?
maybe even some
sort of soemone i think she is more important than me in my lovers heart?
idk
the story was just what came out
and i dont know how it did
it just did
i think im a good story teller
hahahah
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The last three lined paragraph " You deserve the gifts you have to be wasting them on him..You don't deserve the gift you have to still be complaining." It just needs a few words and punctuation to make it sound clear. It will flow better
-
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k
will try and fix it...
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change around the last three liner
It may help you place -
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how?
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juana. this one gave me like..goddebumps haha.
this as very very good! the ending =O LOVE et! -
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aww thank you
i liek my title!
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Thank you for entering. I like the way you ended this one. Being able to sense his comparisons...how awful. Again, thank you for sharing. Nice write.
--Genesis. -
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gracias!!!
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definitely fits the prompt well! envy sucks balls lol
and I can see the comparison in his eyes.
I can see him compare my frosted kisses to
warm ones of years past.
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I can see it in their fingertips...
in this little box
you are vauled more than us.
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love those stanzas, the imagery is beautiful
but i think vauled should be valued
lots and lots of luck in the contest
<33 -
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hahaah
thank you!!
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I can see where you are coming from with this.
you are vauled more than us. little typo there.
It's good!
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thank you
i need people to proof read my things!
hahahahh
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