there is an ocean
within a woman's belly
her thighs, a pale harbor,
cradles a small star
at their juncture
the celestial pulls the tides
emotions ebb,
phantom lips peel apart...
the waves speak of the moon
it is the star that listens
sea-foam and silt
muting inflection
glowing, blind and bound
to it's mother
A contest entry
- It Must Be The Moon part II . by JinSays.
600 points, ended August 16, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I love the word belly, it is quite simple but (for me) there is such depth and I love the way it sounds.
This is quite well done, your personification is unique and the images clear.
This piece gives me hope for being a woman, it is simple but profound -
Okay, when people reading your poetry comment more on another's comment than they do your write, there is some problems
. . .this is beyond my ability to just pass it off as pretty. There are pretty things about it, but I think more than that, it spoke truth and life, always the allure of life. Beautiful!
This is superb, though I'm going to fuss at you for not labeling properly. There's not a thing here that's bad or distastful, but lord, I dont want parents saying I ruined their kids
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thank you for that!
changed the label...please don't be to cross with me. i appreciate the response and thank you for holding this contest. great topic!
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it was quite clear to me. (the person 'braindead' perhaps lives up to their name)
i thought it was sensual and beautiful- a vivid and erotic appreciation of femininity, and i liked it even more than the poem i commented on a minute ago!
i am going to read the rest of your work
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Not sure what you're trying to say with this poem. Not sure i really understand the nautical imagery either. :/
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ah...
got 'cha. it is said that women are ruled by the moon. much like the tides- so i combined the two concepts. a woman's womb becomes an ocean. her thighs, the harbor. the star represents the point of entry- fickle in it's invitation, ruled by desire and mood... the cunt and the moon are one in the same- though the star is only a fraction, capable of understanding the connection and effects of the moon. sea-foam and silt refers to the residue and foundation of emotion- these things distort the message/prevent understanding. "glowing blind and bound to it's mother" infers that our sexuality although evident and alive, knows nothing of its purpose, but adheres to the effects of its larger counterpart, the moon.
not sure how clear this is, but there you have it.
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