late summer morning
the fig tree iridescent
with swarming beetles
Author notes
I'm trying to pack for a trip away, and soaking down the fruit trees and I'm distracted by this... the color and the sound.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
Short and sweet
I'm real fan of short works but not that skilled as skilled at writing it as your obviously are. I guess it's the artist in your genes that allows you to produce such works. Very nice. I love the swarming beetles.
-
Hope you enjoy your trip we aare going to be run over by Gustov tues/wens Might the beetles be eatin u figs?
-
Great moment snapshot.
(for a 'ku, do you really need 'with'?) (forget the syllable count - go contemporary!)
Have a great time on your trip - in two hours, I'll be under the needle!

-
-
Good points...upon rereading, a dash could be used after the second line to get rid of 'with'.
But I like it either way. -
-
Well, I'm all for free flow and doing away with unnecessary words that serve only to pad out the syllable count - so I'd do the 'ku -
late summer morning
iridescent fig tree--
swarming beetles
but it's only my opinion -
-
Well...you only need one dash...LoL
-
-
-
-
LoL...distraction by poetry...

'iridescent' Very fancy word...spices up the rest of the words in the haiku.


1 - 7 of 7




