Cast me into the shadows, forget my very name,
Remember me as just another silly dame.
Take all the money that I rightfully earned,
Into the sky flies another diary page I’ve burned.
Laugh when I cry
Keep making me feel like I just want to die.
I cook and I clean and I smile for your friends;
When will this unfair suffering come to an end?
Tell me I’m worthless and nothing but a whore;
Into the rain goes another diary page I’ve torn.
Echoed regrets are mirrored by your drunken yells
And my skin is torn by dirty fingernails.
Painting on this smile; telling everyone it’s okay;
Hushed voices beg me not to go on another day.
It is not enough when my tears fall;
From my heart – just take another petty withdrawal.
I mean less to you than the money that you cannot keep in hand.
God, why I can’t I run away from this heartless witch’s land?
Write down my pains in a little book,
Until my mother takes a look.
A drunken stagger, yell, and hit;
“You mean nothing to me, you little shit!”
Tears streaking as I’m huddled in a corner and holding onto my knees,
“It’s my diary, Mother, you shouldn’t have read it! Please!”
Tears to forgotten streaks; yells turn to drunken snores,
A sad face turns to destroy the one thing she adores.
Burnt pieces of emotion-filled paper fly through the air,
Raindrops make the ink so runny, and collect in the girl’s red hair.
The girl is I, and my back is marked with red marks from a whip’s lashes…
Opposite opinions in my mind have continuous clashes.
“Ashes to ashes… dust to dust…
Tonight I’ll leave this world, if I really must.”
Author notes
Basically what I've been going through lately with my mother.
Not my best work but, eh - it was what I felt.
In a list
Comments
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came by randomly as i just clicked on a name to read new works. Impressed with what i have read yet my 13 hr night shifts keep me from sponging it all in and leaving a decent comment other than my blabbering. I will be back.
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A diary is the ink your heart,
Its the secrets of your thoughts.
A private self admition,
All the moments your life caught.
If any other reads of it,
Their eyes to steal your life.
Its as if your world be torn in two,
Your heart stabbed deep a knife.
So never ever ere again,
To write your heart a book.
Just keep it safe locked in your thoughts,
Where only you can look.
x
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My thoughts are not but dust,
Thrown into the wind.
I tried to make my actions just,
But peace never did, my heart, it mend.
Hollow smiles and empty eyes,
Up through the horror I tried to climb,
But I've been caught up in my own sighs;
Happiness has illuded me for the last time.
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Just be the heart I know that you are.
That is why you pain so much.
Because the world tries to stop your heart and its beat.
Don't listen keep it safe because it is loved,
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Wow, this is extremely intense, and if this is all based on current personal facts, I'm sorry that you're having to go through it all right now. It sounds like your mother's problems lie outside of your life, yet she takes them out on you anyway. Sometimes when someone can't damage the problem they're truly facing, they take it to another subject and release the energy there. It sounds like that's what's happening. Anyway, though - This is good writing. Keep it up...it's a good release of problems.
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holy snot. i can relate to your emotions so very well, deary.
parents are dumb*bunnys* aren't they?
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Sometimes when people love you,
they take you for granted.
Sometimes even abuse you emotionally,
hence the so called happy marriage.
Doing something rash in response to what others say or do is seldom the correct move.
The best revenge is living well and with a smile....a smile is very disarming....people dont know what your thinking...it can be very effective to those who try to push your buttons....
just some Irish wisdom lass.
The piece was well written...otherwise i would not be able to relate....very articulate with well placed wording make this art to me.
Great job !
Blessings gypsy,
LOWELL -
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This was a very dramatic write, and while I almost never make rash decisions based on what people say, there are times when you find that you've no place else to turn.
You're right - a smile is very disarming,
That's wonderful advice.
Thank you for your praise~
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