Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Dance with Death

Let me dance with the death
For the life's gone away,
From my hand, from my heart
In the darkness let me sway

A funeral's held in my soul
Some moans're music 4 today
Shadows're my only mates
Hold my hand oh death u may

See how lovely is the scene
I'm dancinng with my dream
Hope I find u oh sweet death
How lovely dear you seem

Grab my hand! suck my soul
Let me perish with some joy
There's no more life in me
Oh! plz Come now help me die

Author notes

I'm 16. I love poetry. This is option three. Title: Dance with Death.

In a list

A contest entry

What do you think of it?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Swan song gold member
    December 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A very nice poem All beit a bit hard to read becauseof the background


  • daddy joker
    August 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    loved it great pice of poetry loved the way you were dancing with death hope you keep writing and defenitly you got talent


  • Angel Felice Seals
    August 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I liked it

    this is an interesting piece if you read between the lines it really shows so much emotion i found this to be sad. as I read this i could feel the loneliness and uncertainty of confusion but I felt that it told only have the story almost as you where hiding part of you and that's why it makes this poem outstanding. keep it flowing

  • the evil angel
    August 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I like this a lot better. Thanks for putting my critiscism into effect

  • the evil angel
    August 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    the last stanza doesn't follow the rhyme scheme very well. you should work on that. I like this. It's interesting. It sort of hides what you're really saying. Leaves a lot to interpretation. Work on the last stanza and the second stanza. The second stanza disrupts the flow and the last stanza doesn't follow the rhyme scheme. In general, however, I really like this. Very good job

  • the evil angel
    August 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    put the stuff in your an! soon!


  • emotearsofsorrow
    August 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is really good.

    yeah. goreat job.

    can't think of how 2 explain my feelings for this one.. there are no words created to even beging to describe one of them.

1 - 7 of 7