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Life

    SLAP
          WHAM
  BANG
life comes at you hard
              ZOOM
    WOSH
          ZING
life comes at you fast

around and around you go
  faster you spin
              praying it will stop
      hoping it never will
because to stop hurts

                            "you hit rock bottem"
                    "im fly'n with the birds"
                                  nothings different
                everythings changed

    up and down
  round and round
and not one survives
    the ride

the ride of life

Author notes

it is how my life has seamed lately. nothing makes sence but it keeps going. i dont know if the pome is any good i just wrote it down and thought id see what you pepole thought.

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Comments


  • mickey94
    October 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    it is good, interesting too but defiantly relatable, it give the effect that everything is coming at you so fast
    -mickey94


  • Rockerstar
    October 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Yeah, my life seems like that at the moment too. :-( Supposed to be attending an induction for a new job but ended up sick, but still had to pick up an entry I placed at the show and then go and see a car I was interested in. Its amazing how life can get so damn complicated but you just keep pushing through and then when you reflect back you wonder just how in the hell you ever made it through that then and if it were to happen again you probably couldn't. But the funny thing is, it does just a slightly different situation and you still get through....
    Well done. :-)

  • jcmkinney
    September 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It flows pretty well. You need to go back and check spelling. It may seem nit-picking, but readers want words to be spelled right (hoping, different, survives). I like how the rhythym of the poem made me feel like I was really on a ride!


    • BlackDiamondWolf
      September 22, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      i had spellchecked it but that dosent always work. i was begining to wonder if it just didnt make sence to any one elce so im glad you liked it