Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

drowning

so here i lie.
wishing i had made a different choice.
death seems very rash for this situation.
but things will not change.
it is too late for me now.

my lungs constrict and ache for air.
black spots appear in my mind.
i fight for my last thought.
the thought that made dying pleasant.
i picture you.
before my mind is blacked out and silenced.

you have to have been dead to know death is forever.

Author notes

i picked in the title options. the title [drowning].
but instead of just having another weirdo drowning in suicide.
i tried to picture them regreting it.
suicide is not all glamour.

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • queens1
    September 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It made me think of what it might feel like to die. Before, I thought it was just falling asleep.
    "I fight for my last thought,
    the thought that made dying pleasant.
    I picture you."
    Very powerful image.
    Patty

  • meena krish
    August 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Now this is something different. This write shows that death is not the answer for a solution and there is
    no point regretting later. Well done..and best of luck in the contest..take care.


  • redhanded
    August 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    wow...

    i trly enjoyed this piece the flow was amazing and thankyou for entering,....

    best of luck to you in the future and with ur writing

    andi
    (redhanded)