Six feet of earth
A big black case
I am alone
In this crowded place
you're like a bird
away you've flown
and all that's left
are words on a stone
Can't stop the tears
I hold my breath
Goodbye, my love
For this is death.
Author notes
my loss..
A contest entry
- Missing In Action-Saying Good Bye by Lo0opy.
500 points, ended September 10, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I like the stark simplicity of the statement "For this is death." This poem works precisely because of its brevity--there are no wasted words here.
Good one,
Bill
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this one made me sad
but im not dead barb
so why are you saying goodbye to me?
im stil here!
in any case it is very nice
<3 -
Great!
This gives very good perception.
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Your poem has a good rhyme and rhythm which somewhat relieves the sombre thoughts that it expounds.
I prefer a lighter vein.
The body may be gone and in the ground
Yet still consolation may be found.
Your mind holds memories of the people you've met.
Death doesn't mean you have to forget. -
This is great! Sad, but I really like it. You say a ton in such few words, I can picture the loss of a loved one, someone sitting by their grave stone crying and remembering. It's one of those things we all hope to never go through, but know we all will/have. Great job and thanks for entering!
~~T~~ -
aww that's sad and touching. I'd wish it wasn't true, but death is inevitable and a fact of life. Nice poem.
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