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Moronic Hypocrite; Me

  Plush pine green pads my
overfed under worked
behind

short distinguished
  chortles force
  pass my $18 a tube
plumping gloss covered lips

Whine yuppies
  Cry yuppies

  over this

spilling from dead carcass
  pink like my neon fingertips          oooh I done em pretty just for you
what once was life
  now is coating the inside
of your spoiled intestines

    caged : black and white beauty
      starved: mommy's little cutie (sound familiar yuppy?)
        skinned: taken alive brutalized
          chopped: buried in stomach heaven

eat your foul meat
  yuppy

    Too Raw- he says
    Too much Blood- he says
                                      I like to pretend
                                                  because blindfolds work
  While your stabbing your steak
miss

  hit an artery in your leg instead


Documentary time
  force yuppy
  to see

three little letters
  while he devours his beef

  HIV
"One child dies every minute"


              choke
  throttle

  choke

  throttle

  choke

oh is your suit too small yuppy
you've been eating too much dead cow
  yuppy


  Armed in Armani
      I prance prettily

  as yuppy dumps his leftover pumpkin pie


every
3.6 seconds someone starves to death

      and I wish I was anorexic
      decked out like Ashley Olsen
      paid like Jennifer Aniston
      fucked like Paris Hilton

   
    God, idolized like Marilyn Monroe

  I preach
  I criticize
    I claw your thighs
                Pay attention to me idiot

 
  start screaming look at the world
through those starving HIV ridden children's eyes


  late at night
I lie awake
  thinking of all the cake
  I should have puked

I'm a moronic hypocrite

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 24 of 24

  • jscribbled
    December 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    whoa

    "because blindfolds work"
    this is so good!


  • Lj-
    August 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    I like how bitter this feels.

    Thank you for your entry,
    Best of luck!


  • daviscth silver member
    August 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Congrats on winning the gold with this wonderful piece.


  • penman gold member
    August 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    Aww, wow. This was so deserving of gold. Such a great job. Congratulations.


  • breedluv gold member
    August 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I'm not sure what to make of this; it is startling in it's intensity. Disjointed, yes, but I feel this is deliberate. I almost feel it is like a rough first draft, waiting for refinement. However, that refinement might make it lose its edge. I'm going to come back and look at this again. Good write!

  • Ace - LightWithinMe
    August 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hello.

    A raw write, which does convey the anger of the writer, as well as valid observations on some points. There are some very sarcastic lines in here, which I do like, as well as a moralistic stance which obviously fuels the writers hand, and it is understandable. However it takes a person of character to look at themselves with the same harsh eyes, and note the lack of contrast. This write is appealing to my polemic nature, but I will have to decline, a comment box is hardly the place, hahhah. I wish you well in the contests you are in, and can also understand why you decided to enter this in the Anger (Mis)Management contest, hahaha.

    My regards.


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    August 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is a trip, more fun than popping bubble wrap and certainly more satisfying. I had to read it three times, sheer brilliance young lady and my favorites list just grew to 113.


  • lisapoet
    August 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really loved your flow and passion. Taunting those you see as gluttons and then hating yourself. Vivid imagry. Brilliant Self loathing. You don't eat meat, so you want to "puke" cake. Something decadent. I loved it

  • deleteduser
    August 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, what an emotional toll this poem inflicts upon yourself. I often find myself thinking of other peoples' troubles also because I need to remind myself that I don't have it all that bad. Sometimes we need to stop thinking about things and start acting on the impulses that drive us to be different. Beautiful poem, boy oh boy I indulged in every last word.


  • Uniquely-Scarred
    August 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow i love the way its all over the shot yet contans structure this is great this should win the contests its original and their is just so much going on in this in terms of poetic devices.... im stuck for words wow im glad i read this it has truely blown me away, and i know for sure it will others


  • AsIThink gold member
    August 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Going for anger? Won you at least a silver (I mean, in my make-believe contest...). This had so much irony and passion. Powerful sentiment too; we all struggle with moments and possibly shades of hypocrisy (and are even 'morons' sometimes). Strong lines right here: "caged : black and white beauty
    starved: mommy's little cutie (sound familiar yuppy?)
    skinned: taken alive brutalized
    chopped: buried in stomach heaven"... wow. I think you succeeded in driving your point home for sure. Very interesting style too..


  • divebar
    August 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    its gripping to a certain point. and the sounds almost overshadow the message. something, and this is why ive been hesitant to comment on a couple of your poems so far, feels a little off about it. i think its just a little overwhelming, all of the alliteration and the fusing of the message youre trying to make into it. and how every syllable punches. it may just be a stylistic thing that im not overly fond of.


  • Swangrnv gold member
    August 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    hard-to the core

    Yeah, and I ain't just whistling dixie lady.


  • Cynthia Gaines gold member
    August 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Much food for thought here...

    Or, thought for food?!!? Anyway, this is absolutely brilliant, young lady!!! Good luck in both contests, you have a winner here!!! As well as opened the mind of the sky and lit up the universe with raw intelligence oozing from your muse's rich and surrealistic pores of knowledge... Write on, shine on, Poetess!!!


  • bolsabrat
    August 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    wow

    i lack the words to explain your art...i love how you make it seem so brutal yet so delicate 5/5=]

  • kittyom
    August 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Incredible!!!!!!!!

    Dude....this is something like you would see in some sick-ass movie or God-forbid real life with someone....DAMN, man...I see the relation of prostitute and virtue...damn, man.....kind of like the freakin' movie "Monster"...she was a prostitute, but killed all those dudes...but had certain reasons sometimes....damn....you have a VERY POWERFUL piece here, man...this ROCKS!!!!


  • Tehuni
    August 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    you use such good phrases in this, "over fed under worked behind", and
    "oh is your suit too small yuppy you've been eating too much dead cow yuppy".
    your style reminds me a little of E E Cummings, but less optimistic about people and things being quintessentially good


  • swim.x
    August 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. Such raw emotion and thoughts that have run through everyone's mind... well maybe not everyone.. but I've thought these things before. Thanks for your comment on my work. Greatly appreciated. You are a true poet. Your words flow down the page so gracefully.
    Well done,
    Chin up,
    Swim.x


  • Rovingone gold member
    August 15, 2008

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    So powerful, all that emotion exploding in each line. You made it all come to the forefront. This is supremely good! I loved every word of it!


  • etoile
    August 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow this was amazing
    i love the way you wrote and i was captivated the whole way through

    the imagery & emotions in this is great!!
    it's also a very unique piece with lots of creativity
    lots of luck in the contest


  • edens-envy
    August 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I'd have to agree; your anger comes through in this piece in a very profound way. I've often thought thoughts like this, wishing I were anorexic, despite how bad it is for our bodies. It happens to the best of us.
    'caged : black and white beauty'
    'chopped: buried in stomach heaven'
    I loved these lines very much they are my favorite ones.

    (btw- you miss-spelled hypocrite in the last line of your poem :3)


  • moluv10
    August 15, 2008

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    You definately displayed anger in this piece. I love the fact that you touched on some real life issues. Best of luck in the contest.


  • Cannonsfire
    August 15, 2008

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    Boy get angry and do it prettily on all the yuppies who ever starved themselves or screwed themselves silly..Yep this is something I can get my teeth into and I liked the fact you brought facts into the whole rant. Makes it more in your face and real, and this is real poetry, a real rant. Loved it! Love, C P.S Why are you not on my Favs? Going to rectify that right now.


  • IronIcecream
    August 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I'm very sure bulimic behavior is a the main effect of the preservatives that replace the food (for thought)
    annorexia, like depression is a spiritual disease that
    no religion can heal because religion itself (like any fashion) is a preservative.





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